Microsoft tempts with a Windows phone job ad

SOFTWARE HOUSE Microsoft is looking to hire a mobile phone expert as it struggles to build itself up as a serious smartphone operating system software provider.

A tie up with Nokia, which six years ago would have been like Justin Bieber marrying Lady Gaga, drew cries of scorn and disappointment, rather than the fireworks and party poppers they might have expected.

But Microsoft always pushes on, though, and as well as advertising for someone to oversee operating system development, it is also looking to hire a someone who can "go big" and "disrupt things".

This made us picture an immature hippopotamus, which might start its life sitting quietly at a desk, for example, but by its early teens will be likely to disrupt anything it comes up against.

Microsoft, however, will have a human in mind, and one that likes job adverts written with many capital letters and lots of exclamation marks.

"We are a team working on a top secret project inside the Windows Phone division. Our mission...GO BIG! DISRUPT THE MARKET!" it reads. We waved this under a hippo's nose and also underneath a helium balloon - one of which we once witnessed disrupting a car boot sale when it unexpectantly lost altitude. Neither seemed impressed.

"In this role you would be on point to work with product planning, design, UX research and the feature team to glue pieces of feature together and build delighting user experiences," adds the advertisement, which we continued to read to some denizens of the larger environments at the London Zoo.

"Come make our product sing to customers! It's a chance to see your work showcased by millions of customers for years to come!"

If any disruptive shouters and aspiring chair throwers fancy taking a job in Redmond, this is presumably the one to go for. µ