Godaddy chief murders an elephant

SERIAL ANIMAL KILLER Bob Parsons, the not publicity shy boss of the web hosting firm Godaddy, has shot an elephant while in Africa, posted a sickening video of the event and claimed he did it for the greater good.

Before anyone jumps in to point it out though, The INQUIRER has no doubt that this was a disgusting act, but one that apparently Parsons feels very proud of.

Freshly back from his holidays, Parsons uploaded a video of the kill to the Vimeo website under the headline "Hunting Problem Elephant". Yes, 'problem elephant'.

The killing, you see, was a purely altruistic one and saw the Godaddy CEO board a plane, load up with ammo and hunt a majestic creature not for pleasure, although he does enjoy it, but because it was causing a problem. Thus, we are expected to believe, there is no shame in his [big] game.

"Each year I go to Zimbabwe and hunt problem elephant. It's one of the most beneficial and rewarding things I do. This video shows a typical day of this year's trip", he wrote underneath the video, which shows him take revenge on the animal kingdom for daring to walk around eating vegetation while paying no heed to signs made by farmers.

After sitting around in the dark to exact swift vengeance on animals that come out at night to feed and must be located by walking through thick plants in the pitch blackness, Parsons and his team of hunters open fire on three elephants, killing one and causing two to find a new picnic spot.

The video carries on, though not in the sort of vein you would expect from a promotional 'feelgood' video.

The next scenes, after some photos of Parson's standing next to his dead trophy, are shot in daylight and show a field full of Godaddy baseball cap wearing 'hungry villagers' hacking away at the dead animal with knives and running off with its meat, all the while accompanied by an AC/DC soundtrack. That's an image that is unlikely to be repeated in any other web host marketing material, but it apparently is regarded as very rewarding by Parsons.

Godaddy customers are voting with their feet, in some cases all four of them. PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, was a customer, but after seeing the video it has pulled its website from the web host.

"Bob Parsons, the CEO of GoDaddy.com (a major Internet domain-hosting company), has killed at least one elephant and a leopard for his personal enjoyment. PETA is closing its account with Go Daddy and urges everyone to follow suit," said the organisation.

"Parsons is hiding behind the lame claim that killing elephants helps farmers in Africa whose crops are damaged by the animals... Instead of coming up with flimsy excuses for killing these highly intelligent and social animals, Parsons should use his wealth to fund humane solutions to human/elephant conflicts."

Suggestions that he might fly to Libya next to sort out the population's problems there are in bad taste and unfounded. µ