Sky launches 3D football pub finder

OLD RICH GIT Rupert Murdoch's Sky television network is attempting to make it easier for pub football watchers to enjoy matches in high definition or 3D glory.

The channel is offering football fans a postcode lookup service that will direct them to the nearest game-friendly watering hole. As well as telling them what pubs are showing games, it also lets them know whether its in HD or 3D or just boring old normal telly, letting them make informed choices - before they start drinking and rational decisions go out the window.

Sunday's game between Arsenal and Chelsea is being screened in 3D, presumably to make room for the egos of those on the pitch, which could never really be restrained in 2D, so if you want to go and join in at a room full of people wearing dark glasses without having to be a celebrity, poker player or gangster, you can wander to the Sky TV pub finder and put in your postcode now.

How people take to 3D football is, like a poor cross in front of goal, up in the air. Sky TV's 3D football had a chance to impress during the World Cup matches, like the English football team. However, also like the English football team, it did not shine. In fact, worse than England it didn't even bother turning up.

Though this would have been the wisest choice for team England, it was rather unfortunate for Sky TV though and many of its customers, including an Essex pub landlord, that had rushed out to buy 3D televisions and install paracetamol dispensers in the toilets.

For now, football non-fans can subvert the system by using it to avoid football pubs, which is something that Sky could have considered highlighting. µ