RELUCTANT REPAIRER of broken shiny gadgets Steve Jobs has revealed how much candy he has been taking away from babies this quarter.
Apple is reporting that, in a quarter when it shipped a phone so broken that it required a rubber band to fix it, its profits shot through the roof.
The second quarter netted Apple $3.25 billion in profits on revenues of $15.7 billion. Gross margins were down slightly year over year and international sales accounted for more than half of all business.
According to The INQUIRER 'Apple fanbois gross stupidity' index that uses Apple profits as a key indicator, this means that either fanbois are multiplying in number or they are so stupid that they are buying lots more shiny toys.
In its third fiscal quarter Apple sold a record 3.47 million Macs and 8.4 million Iphones of which 1.7 million were Iphone 4 units. In addition it sold 9.41 million Ipods. Sales of the Ipod Touch were up 48 per cent from last year. It also sold 3.27 million Ipads, which went on sale three days into the quarter.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs said in a statement that the Iphone 4 was the most successful product launch in Apple's history.
With figures like these, Apple can afford to be generous. Chief operating officer Tim Cook said Apple set aside $175 million to cover the cost of providing free Iphone 4 rubber bands to anyone who wants them. This will mean that the phone can actually make calls. µ
The best part is to see jobs iSheep army going mad in the comments
Well commented Neil.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, just remember that other people have the right to one that differs from your own.
The important thing is to be open minded.
Discuss your position and the reasons behind it, acknowledge relevant issues presented by other, and reevaluate your position based on what you have learned.
If your stubborn, expect some jibes.
Just remember we are bombarded with bias advertising everyday; Be a functioning human-being, not a unpaid marketing bot.
@Stephen & others. You guys are either new to the site or have problems understanding how the world works. the INQ *IS* a serious and unbiased site, they provide reliable information and decent, though mostly brief articles on a daily basis. they *are* rightly shameless about ridiculing firms who deserve reality checking or just plainly do/PR something dumb. they become merciless when said firms regularly repeat that type of performance, this article is quite tame compared to others i've read. people come here to get good and reliable information to which we've come to expect and look forward to an amount of "fun spin" when dealing with the usual suspects. if you doubt that this is the case simply pick any other serious firm who's likely to get covered and track them over a month or so, e.g. siemens nixdorf, lg, tsmc etc.
Apple and their customers are an easy target, since it likes and encourages a cult-like status that you can buy into. To a certain extent, it's like watching that South Park episode, where everyone buys a hybrid car.
That is all.
It's pathetically ironic when the these same people keep coming back here, reading whole articles and taking their time to complain about every Apple bashing.
Either you people love INQ and can't admit, or you work for Apple's PR. Otherwise you wouldn't be here everyday.
Nick your worst nightmare Apple rules no matter how you try to slander it numbers do not lie like you do. Fanbois rule!!!
Blimey - I wan't aware that I was being humourless about all this. Just shows how Aspergoid I must be, I guess. I thought I was celebrating how over the top Nick and Lawrence's iArticles have become, to the point of self-parody.
As for the anti-Apple stance, I see more than just poking fun in the language and arguments Nick (especially) uses, but that's just my opinion. Delighted to be proved wrong, as there are some strong legitimate cases to be put to Apple and their fans, which are utterly lost in the "Apple are lying bastards and anyone who buys anything from them is by definition a moron" crap being flung everywhere.
Saying that the Inq has an explicit anti-Apple stance for writing stuff like "reluctant repairer of broken shiny gadgets Steve Jobs has revealed how much candy he has been taking away from babies" is like saying I've got an explicit anti-blonde stance for writing "How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday". They're pulling your leg, yanking your chain, etc. etc. I wouldn't have thought it was easy to mistake this site for a place of serious impartial journalism but apparently so.
I know it hurts you fanboys but Apple have messed up a lot, and you know those Billions they've made? you won't see a dime of it going to improve their products, they will still sell the overpriced crap PC's as always. Even before the Iphone 4 they were doing well, they didn't treat their customers with any respect now did they? In fact it was the most childish thing ever: We don't have a problem, everyone else has, here's a rubber band now shut up and buy some more of my overpriced crap phones - Steve Jobs
The Inq's explicit anti-Apple stance has now moved so far beyond any semblance of reality that it has moved into the realms of dystopian fantasy fiction. Every time I think Nick and Lawrence couldn't become more extreme, they prove me wrong - well done, lads.