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Reverend blesses laptops and smartphones

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Mon Jan 11 2010, 16:25

PERHAPS FINALLY getting over that whole ancient history fixation, not to mention the Adam and Eve bit, a vicar has given his blessing to an Apple as well as some laptops and mobile phones including Blackberrys.

Today the Reverend Canon David Parrott held a service at London's 17th-century St. Lawrence Jewry church in London, during which he blessed a symbolic pile of laptops and smartphones on the altar.

In the ceremony, called the Plow Monday Service, the 'tools of our trade' are generally prayed over. However, since this traditionally involves farming implements - which these days people in London run away from - the Reverend chose to switch out ploughs for electronic gewgaws. Because of this the service was called the 'Blessing of the Apple and the BlackBerry'.

"It's the technology that is our daily working tool, and it's a technology we should bless," Parrott said during the sermon, to which the Mayor of London was invited. Parrot said that technology as well as users could be touched by God's grace and as a result a lot of people held up their phones during his presentation. Which under normal circumstances would be considered rather rude.

The church is set in the midst of London's financial district and apparently the crowd was pleased with this evangelical approach to technology.

They obviously have never been to any tech user events in the US. µ

 

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Comments
Blessing the already-blessed?

If this Reverend in in fact blessing Iphones, is this not a form of sacrilege?

After all, Saint Steven has already personally blessed all these gizmos with His Holy Powers. Kind of like pressing an elevator button twice (but with religions, is this not generally frowned upon?).

Why can't they just dispense with the Reverend entirely, and just form a kind of "lego idol" of Saint Steve by piling up the Iphones? I am sure that this would work similarly to an atomic pile, and the critical mass achieved by several hundred of the shiny trinkets would beam out intense "Jobs Rays", igniting the congregation to intense heights of religious rapture.

posted by : Applenuke, 13 January 2010 Complain about this comment
sweet jesu!

the internet also moves in mysterious ways!

i'll have to write a book all about it where every sentence begins with 'and'

posted by : the jesus lizard, 12 January 2010 Complain about this comment
Haleluia!

Oh God, would you please raise my download speed and keep the bad packets at bay?

Amem!

posted by : Erick Mentos, 12 January 2010 Complain about this comment
furthermore..

and the internet's prophet is google. you can ask him anything and you always get a straight answer - unlike in church where you are answered with another question, or vague superstition, or guilt, or fear, or hypocricy ad infinitum

posted by : handlebar moustache, 12 January 2010 Complain about this comment
God has been located

Now it is certain that God has been identified to be one and the same as the Almighty Internet. It is everywhere and you cannot put your finger on it. It is singular and plural at the same time. It cannot be destroyed. Yes, we've found God. And, when it's gadgets are blessed, then the interconnecting medium must definitely be God {him,her,it}self.

Blessed are thee Almighty Internet! Let my church earn your trust and blessings. Do not crash the operating system, oh dear. Blessed are all enabled gadgets; without I could not worship you. Forgive us all our porn and supply us with some more. Amen.

posted by : Bertho, 12 January 2010 Complain about this comment
Dont they know

that invalidates all MS licenses?

posted by : Tom, 12 January 2010 Complain about this comment
bah, humbug

next it'll be a pile of m15's and kalachnakovs.

tools of our trade - humbug!

posted by : ushere, 12 January 2010 Complain about this comment
aboutus
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