This press conference has reached critical mass. We've enough journalists - Intel Spin Doctor
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Top ten IT press secrets for Christmas week
THE WEEK between Christmas and New Year's is about as dry as a Salvation Army bar.
While most PRs and regular staff are on holiday and the print magazines close, the online press still has to find news to serve readers who are not on holiday.
If you look you will find a pattern in the ways the IT press gets through the week.
1. Write a list of technology top tens. These can cover any subject you like and few people will ever disagree with them. If you are feeling a bit lazy use a top ten press release put out by one of the few PR companies left working.
2. Write a list of predictions for the coming year. These will be forgotten before New Year's Day hangovers wear off and if they come true you can always claim you said they were going to happen. If not you can forget you ever made them. Again, if you can't think of any you can always hope that an analyst company has written some for you.
3. Since this is 2009 you can do all of the above but replace the word 'year' with 'decade'. This is always tricky because few people in the IT industry can remember ten years ago and you might as well be predicting the development of a flying car when you talk about ten years in the future.
4. Write another story claiming that Apple or any other vendor will release a new tablet next year. The rumours had died down and people can never get enough of reading about some new tablet. Some tech magazines are now extending this kind of story to write about the impact such a bit of vapourware will have.
5. Write a long story about an Iphone or Android App, which might seem interesting but is going to be dumped in a sea of other applications so that the one you write about will never be found by anyone. [That's enough lists, let's hit the pub. Ed.] µ
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Guess the Y2K snafu didn't teach you anything, did it?
Go back to your first days in school and count (on your fingers) the first ten numbers. Unless you've got some kind of impairment, you counted from ONE to TEN. Which, basically, means that the decade will end on 12/31/2010.
Want further proof? If you were right (and you most definitely ARE NOT, ed.), the first decade would be from year 1 to year 9 (there was no year zero, sorry), so it would actually have been a... nineade??? WHADDAYACALLIT?
Carrying that logic to centuries and milleniums, the 1st century would have been from 1 to 99 and the 1st mllenium from 1 to 999.
Since this is a mathematical NONSENSE, the only possible conclusion is that your logic is WRONG! (Reductio ad absurdum, ergo.... you lose, I win!)
While that brings to a double celebration of decades/centuries/milleniums (you party -- drink twice, which is good!), unfortunately IT'S WRONG!
First you have to find some real journalists. And since there are none in the IT reporting world (and most other arenas for that matter) you get crap.
Like this worthless missive written by Nickie who is simply a hack.
Hack:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hack_writer
... about what journalists do during the slow news week between Christmas and New Year
:-) Happy New Year! Now get back to real stories!
To counterbalance that other comment, I wish you all the best for the coming year, Nick.
And if you _do_ get hit with a bottle, please make sure it's empty first, such a waste of beer :(
"Have I lost anything?
The top ten secrets seem to have only five items."
Nope not at all
The inq is just becoming V3. Shoddy all round since the interesting people left or were lent on by the new management.
Have I lost anything?
The top ten secrets seem to have only five items.
Hey Farrelled by Nik. Looks like mentioning Apple hit a nerve with you. You're not one of those Apple fan boys are you?
I thought you guy's were all about love and the family and belonging and stuff. Not violence.
"1. Write a list of technology top tens. These can cover any subject you like and few people will ever disagree with them. If you are feeling a bit lazy use a top ten press release put out by one of the few PR companies left working."
This describes virtually every link to that shoddy V3 "sister site" that the INQ links to when the INQ lacks any content to post.
Do what you ALWAYS do when there is no news, Farrell.... (and even when there IS). You do what you always do, and that is make up some inflammatory nonsensical story about Apple and publish it as fact.
I hope someone at the pub breaks a bottle over your head, you two-bit HACK!
"[That's enough lists, let's hit the pub. Ed.]"
That is _the_ most sane remark of the year. You should use a lot more time there. It might improve the list to include to stop writing lists and hit the pub more often.
Cheers!
At least you're not guilty of #1... You didn't write them, just linked them from your "sister" site V3.
Add anything in your title about an iPhone killer.
I see all kinds of stories about apple this or tablet or blah blah blah.I never read these stories and am really sick of them. I like "just the facts".
And then its hard to get an unbiased story.They tend to leave out negative facts or write the story so fast you get the "I have not checked that yet" part which is usually the most important facts.
Or even worse to watch a video about nothing.Hopefully tech writers will get better in 2010 but I doubt it.
Its hard for me to even believe some of these people get paid for what they do.
The other thing I hate is the use of the word "sexy". Put down your stupid toy and lot look at a women for gods sake!