The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing - Jeane Baptiste Colbert
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL phone in the world is being plagued by a bad case of the Rick Astleys.
A fairly basic hack of the gadget has been carried out twice now. The first hack came from a Dutch bloke who told Apple fanbois to send him €5 "or else he would continue to annoy them", but the latest is probably the cruellest.
Reports claim that there is a a worm that replaces the phone's default wallpaper with a picture of Rick Astley, the British pop singer whose song "Never Gonna Give You Up" as been an inspiration. We are not sure for what, but we are certain it is not nice.
The photo is accompanied by the message "ikee is never gonna give you up" and the antivirus outfit Sophos tells us that it is quite difficult to remove.
Of course those infected deserve to be hacked. They have taken the perfected software of the great god Steve Jobs and installed jailbreaking software. This software allows people to use the Jesus phone on networks unblessed by Steve and therefore removes them from his divine protection and into hacking hell.
The virus only spreads by searching an infected phone's contacts to find other jailbroken Iphone users who have installed the Unix software SSH (secure shell) but haven't yet changed their passwords from Apple's default root password. For the record, Apple's default password on the Iphone is currently "alpine".
Sophos says that it hasn't heard of any occurrences of the worm outside Australia, and that while it doesn't appear to do anything worse than irritate users, it highlights the problems that those who disobey the word of Steve Jobs face with basic living.
For it is written that they who shall disobey Steve shall be cast into a world that is grey and Dell like and then be forced to buy software from Microsoft. There shall they gnash their teeth and hear Coldplay on their Ipod not.
The more cynical in the world might even suggest that Apple might have a vested interest in releasing such viruses into the wild to keep the faithful in check. Of course that would be stupid, and anyway everyone knows only Microsoft products have viruses and worms.
Still it could have been a lot worse. The virus has only been seen in Australia, and it could have come packed with a Celine Dion wallpaper and ringtone.
Then the world as we know it would have ended. µ
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