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Apple software sends Iphones into a coma

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Friday, 18 September 2009, 12:16

APPLE HAS BEEN avoiding questions recently about an alarming quirk with its new Iphone OS 3.1.

According to Apple's own bulletin board, fanboys are claiming that Iphone OS 3.1 is "the buggiest update that Apple has yet released for the iPhone." Of course since all Apple software is perfect in the eyes of Steve Jobs this should be relative.

However it seems that Iphone OS 3.1 has some sort of nasty bug that causes the device to become totally unresponsive and suck battery life so badly that it can't walk for several days.

We have already reported how the Iphone's much advertised link with Microsoft Exchange didn't work, but now Iphone users are also having difficulties with WiFi connections, dead GPS service and tethering no longer working in legally unlocked phones outside the US. This is on top of hardware complaints that the gadgets explode or crack.

Apple fanboys have done their best to post on message boards saying "there is nothing wrong with mine", presumably because their Iphones are as perfect as Steve promised they would be. However with that many complaints there must be some major problems with the Iphone itself, its OS 3.1, or both.

Apple's Iphone Coma Mode is such a hot topic on Apple's "Using iPhone" user forum that we are surprised Jobs Mob has not taken it down yet for heresy.

Actually Iphone Coma Mode should really be called "Apple Fanboy Mode" because the Iphone simply chooses to disregard all sensible external input and has to be rebooted before it will work again. There is no logic to Coma Mode apparently. It is just like the machine is switching itself off because it thinks it is more important than its owner.

We are sure that any day now there will be a comment from Apple's press office saying that the problem affects only "a small number of users" and is not because Apple's software is flaky or its development and testing standards are slipping. In this case Apple can't even blame a Chinese partner for kit it didn't make.

It is also impossible for Iphone owners to go back to using the older Iphone operating system that worked, because the Itunes download function won't let you.

What is interesting is that the tame Apple press that wrote about how wonderful the new upgrade was is now curiously silent. It would be ironic if their Apple machines are in Coma Mode too. µ

 

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Comments
Coma Mode

Mine still works fine!
:o)

posted by : Phil, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Coma Mode

Defo not an apple fanboi (but the iphone 3G is good enough i got one), but the wifes and mine have so far not exhibited any of the issues raised in this article. Different hardware revision or dodgy components maybe?

posted by : Bouncybrian, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Lies...

We all know Mr. Farrell is a Microsoft employee that spews lies about Apple whenever he has a chance. Apple software is flawless, so is it's hardware and its underground chinesse labor camps and whenever they roll a new update it just means that perfection was redefined. If any phone is entering said come state, it just means that that's how it's supposed to be: a piece of technology so astonishingly beautiful that won't turn on so you can admire it in awe.

posted by : TheINQReader, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Coma mode is real

Have an iPhone 3G and recently updated to 3.1. All of a sudden, the phone simply stopped working. 45 minutes later, it started again. The interface isn't bad (but could be better) and some of the apps are useful but I probably will go Android next time around. Oh yeah, AT&T is miserable. My phone drops calls like they are going out of style. I just wish you didn't have to sell your soul for 2years to get the phone.

posted by : Sean, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
It is definitely real

I have had my 3G go into coma mode twice now, including today. Today's was only about 5 minutes, the last one was about 40 minutes.

Thanks Apple, you really have taken suck to new levels.

posted by : GM, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
iComa....:p

I have iComa......

Battery life is too poor & WiFi not working smoothly ...:0

posted by : bigzp, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Apple Software is PERFECT

These are all lies! Apple software can never go wrong!!!!!

posted by : Sam, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Sr

Had trouble after update but a restore not only solved the problem but increased battery life.

posted by : bob-o, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
No Problems with 3.1

I haven't had any problems. I'm running a year old iPhone 3G.

posted by : PJS, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Mine's become flaky

I have 32GB 3gs. Mine has exhibited some of the odd behaviors as mentioned above. Very frustrating because it is so unpredictable. My wife's 16GB 3gs is fine. I have ton's more APPS and many more email accounts then she does. Not sure if that is related or not.

posted by : Beenthere2, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Any Day Now...

The Apple's Press Orifice
will come out of its comode.

We dole out big money for
these trinkets, only to
later learn that we must
shell out big more

BB, Apple, et. al.
It is not worth it.

Throw them all back
across the Potomac
The real "indian givers"

posted by : Smoke Signals, 18 September 2009 Complain about this comment
a very amusing article

anti apples articles are pretty good especially this one "coma mode" classic.

posted by : hey bobby wats frech for va va voom, 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Mine too...

Mine has done this almost daily since 3.1 was installed. Last Sunday, it wouldn't reboot for so long I went to the Apple store. Apparently, they were unaware of the issues becasue they replaced my phone saying it was hardware. Sure enough, my new phone is doing the same 'coma' shutdown daily after I installed 3.1 late Sunday. Apple, please fix this!

posted by : Katie, 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Uh ...

"It is just like the machine is switching itself off because it thinks it is more important than its owner."

That's pretty tedious man. And yes, I mean tedious.

posted by : Zeke, 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
iComa

Yep I've got it too. The screen is black and I have plug it in to reboot it. Actually glad to hear others are having the same problem. Maybe there will be fix soon. Kind of scared the hell out me I thought my phone was going to keel over.

posted by : JC, 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
apple

Apple may have some glitches along the way, but they've come SO FAR in a just a few decades. http://adwido.com/view_content?vkey=2f7f7c328eeb8af3b1df21fdf2b00e88

posted by : jrj073000, 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Um...

Doesn't this guy WORK with Microsoft haha

posted by : Michael , 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
iComa 3.0

My 3G has gone coma twice now. The first time with OS 3.0 and now once more with OS 3.1. I was actually hoping 3.1 would fix the coma problem.

To me it seems like the phone suddenly stops reading the battery correctly and shows full battery until it dies.

posted by : Basecurve, 19 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Happened yesterday...

I experienced something totally bizarre like this for the first time yesterday. I had just completely charged up the phone and set it aside to hit the shower. When I came back, the phone said "NO SERVICE" up in the signal meter, the touch screen was completely unresponsive, and the batter was utterly drained except for one tick of juice. This all happened with it just sitting on the counter for 15 minutes. After doing a hard reboot and recharging again did it simply work again as always.

Very strange.

posted by : Terry McIntosh, 20 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Battery...

I've only had trouble with the battery after the update. My phone tells me when I have 20% battery life left but won't tell me when I have 10% anymore, it just dies. Another thing is, if it DOES die and I plug it up, it shows the battery half full after just plugging it in from being dead. This sucks :( lol

posted by : No name :), 20 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Its Called Crashing

Hey! I have a HTC Touch.
We Windows users calls it crashing!
Lol.
And yes it happens more with us.....

posted by : WinOSFAN, 20 September 2009 Complain about this comment
iComa

My iPhone 3G will drop to a blank screen as well, completely unresponsive. It's like it's turned itself off, except it hasn't - requires holding the power and home screen buttons for a soft reset. Also, despite not installing many apps on it (kept relatively clean of trash) the speed and responsiveness has dropped through the floor. A deliberate lack of optimisation to encourage upgrades to the 3GS?

posted by : r00x, 20 September 2009 Complain about this comment
When mine pulls the coma trick...

...it seems like when it wakes up it takes a picture. I've taken several pics of my desk since I updated. It's funny, I set it on the desk and several minutes later I hear the camera sound and it's back to life. Of course, I'm not taking pics when it locks up...

posted by : Colin, 21 September 2009 Complain about this comment
think we got it licked...

attempting a fix for a bud at work.
if this works i'll document how to unbrick your phones here. We are using a iphone 3g [not 3gs] which had 3.0 and got upgraded to 3.1 which bricked it. initial fix allowed ipod functions to continue with no cellular support - going to try downgrading teh radio , and reflashing the 3.0 unlocked or so - o:

posted by : neko, 21 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Hard Reboot

Earlier tonight I was trying to resume a podcast via the headphone on my iphone 3g and it wouldn't respond. Home and Power button did nothing. I held both buttons and forced it to reboot, and have had no issues since.

posted by : Kimberly, 21 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Well, it's not an error!!

Jobs et al, listened to users saying the iPhone battery didn't hold enough power, so, PRESTo, now it's fixed, making your iPhone go into coma tstae your battery now lasts longer.
Lol! :P

posted by : DigiGato, 21 September 2009 Complain about this comment
iphone coma

a "coma" eh nick? i see...

posted by : acw, 21 September 2009 Complain about this comment
bullshit

this article has clearly been written by a microsoft lover,
go back to the mid 90'swhen microsoft had a firm grip on the market mate,
apple is taking over!

you poor pathetic man.

posted by : Ryan, 22 September 2009 Complain about this comment
Virus?

This sounds pretty much as a virus to me. Probably some folks (with "unlocked" phones) tried to install pirated (cracked) update and got more than they were asking for.
Oh wait - OS/X is too perfect to catch viruses, right?

posted by : Stormy, 23 September 2009 Complain about this comment
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