- Tuesday, 24 November 2009
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Americans come up with Internet addiction rehab
THE FORMER BRITISH COLONY of Virginia has taken a leaf from China's little red book and rushed to create a clinic for the treatment of Internet addiction
The Chinese rehab system has been in the news lately for using shock treatments and killing patients to stop them from accessing their email and surfing the web.
Fortunately the only thing shocking at Heavensfield, a six-bed retreat located in Fall City, Washington, not far from the Vole's headquarters in Redmond, is the prices.
The 45-day programme, which was set up by Cosette Rae, a clinical social worker, and author Hilarie Cash, claims to be the first-ever Internet addiction rehab facility in the US.
They claim that between six to ten per cent of the online population is dependent on one or more aspects of cyber technology and the Internet. Among gamers, those playing multi-user games appear to be more highly addicted.
Rehab at the Heavensfield clinic costs $322 per day to stay at the centre and merely applying for treatment costs $200. An addiction screening will set you back $800. If you want to go backpacking or do some kayaking while you're there, that will cost an extra $1,575.
All this is pretty rich pricing given that the place doesn't even have an Internet connection or WiFi onsite.
It will be much cheaper, in our opinion, to save your money and avoid rehab for Internet addiction. Stick the money in your bank account.
Turn off your computer and get a girlfriend, or boyfriend. Then spend the money in your bank account on your new significant other and you won't have to worry about Internet addiction.
You can send any money you happen to have left over to The Inquirer, for Internet addiction counseling. µ
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Treatment center will take ANYONE for ANY complaintents signature & ensured payment. This center described in Nickolas Ferrals Minds IS Porn Delight, of Fantasy vivisectioning in Morning, then cool Liver Patee'(from Parts of victim) processed by "ducktor" in demonstration of SKILL for asumement of "Higher" Staff. OTHERS GET WHOLE MESSED MIXED IN GRINDER(nO wASTE) By day two, entire palce is so deep into FELONIES, No One will Divulge Much, except Patient now turned into relative Look Alike to keep insurance monies pumping In. EVERY normal Patient is residue of DEAD Comrade, kiled in facility.
Its Cold Game Where Bad Sportmans ship is Homicidial dream, Like riff Valley in India, Place that will NEVER Let victim Out Again. Its' So EASY In US, that Child Kidnapping Is Equal Contender In Amount of Well Plotted first Degree Homicide. Children Become boring Fast, Adults Are Plain Dangerous.
Nows Time to Debate Your Health Care Conveants,
Whad'ya think. Electro Convulsive therapy for Menopause or Dieting. For Stimulation or Stop nasty medicinal Marihuana? where'd GetdYit?
vondrashek
Signed:GEORGE WASHINGTON PARKER MD
Funny news - make my day I have to say.
But hey... I have a girl friend and a job, and I still play and surf at least 6 hrs (minimum) per day (yeah and she gets mad too). Ohh man I think I need rehab lol! Have to check with heath care plan to see if I'm cover. I guess that the 1st step of recovery is to accept it... lol
Regards dudes
I like the internet. I like people statistically analyzing everything I do. And since I'm at a computer it has a convenient interface to do it with. I mean if you take the internet out in the real world you are going to have alot of people writing alot of things on clipboards. The scratching sound from all the pencils alone will drive you mad. On the internet statisics actually mean something. In the real world they are just made up to justify something stupid. I wonder how many people have read this comment. Oh well. I guess as long as some computer somewhere knows that's all thats important.
I think that's the point, if you can get off the computer and get a relationship - you probably aren't addicted.
The prices of not dealing with addictions of any type are shocking. For computer addition wear and tear to the body (being seated without exercise, repetitive motion damage, rising blood pressure in simulated stress situations), NOT having outside relationships or damaging the ones you do have. I haven't looked at their website yet, but I'm sure there are more I can think of...
Hi, I want to sign up for the inquirer's rehab program, so if you can give me an account number and a pin I will transfer my spare money ASAP.
thanks,
George Agdgdgwngo