Microsoft never patented a butt clamp

AN ANCIENT MYSTERY as to a Microsoft patent has finally been resolved after years of patient research by Network World.

Patent 5,819,372, calling for a butt clamp comprising butt hinge with integrally formed butt straps, was granted to Microsoft in 1998, but lay undiscovered until December 2006.

The Vole was unable to tell anyone anything officially about its butt clamp, although speculation at the time suggested it was used by the Vole press office when extracting statements from the shy and retiring Steve Ballmer.

But the joke wore thin and the story was relegated to history.

This month Network World got an email replying to the original story. The grandson of Robert D. Magoon, who invented the butt clamp, happened to find the story and provided an update.

The patent was originally owned by Kawneer Company but was accidentally registered to Microsoft instead.

The problem was fixed and the patent is now owned by Kawneer. Sadly Microsoft never actually owned the rights to the butt clamp and has missed out on the licensing rights.

Network World points out that a search on the company's website shows that Kawneer does sell butt hinges. However a search on Microsoft.com indicates butt clamps do not feature on any roadmap. Thus a mystery is solved and we can all get some sleep. µ