Intel gives lonely sailors a hand
DIGGING FOR news can be ever so rewarding when you unearth these low-brow attempts at humour smack dab in the heart of unfunnyland.
Embedding systems has long been a priority for Intel and the advent of the Atom has provided them with something they can attach to just about anything to make it IP-enabled.
One example is an Intel case-study where a Hapag-Lloyd container ship would be equipped with wireless communications that could end the loneliness and put a smile on sailor’s faces.
Apparently the copywriters working for Intel had a go at writing something deep and heartfelt about that most noble endeavour of putting lonesome sailors in touch with their loved ones - at high seas - using Atom-based communications systems (they’ll bung it into anything these days, won’t they?).
The Atom 5xx-based system will be exterior-mounted and capable of withstanding heat and saline wetness and combine 3G, satellite and Wi-Fi communications to give crew members a better chance to dial their favourite hotline.
“When sailors aboard the Hapag-Lloyd Bangkok Express container ship want to phone a friend, they use a satellite phone - which is standard, but the costs of $2.25 per-minute are hard to swallow.”
It is clear the plight of the lonely sailor stuck on container ships for months on end has deeply moved the copywriter who came up with this gem. Unfortunately anything that combines “sailors”, “Bangkok express” and “hard to swallow” in the same sentence is doomed to trigger smirkville all round – Atom or no Atom.
Wanna bet the first draft read “seamen” instead of “sailors”?
We're searching for the case-study about Atom used in jails - Intel Insiders - but in vain.
Well at least Intel didn’t try to pitch something say, useful, like linking surveillance cams onboard the container ships to a wireless network so that Somalian pirates don’t stand a chance the next time they take one over (unless of course they are reading The Inquirer right now). µ
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Somailian Pirates Are Afraid of ONE Thing. Having picture Taken. So Device should have telephoto 10 MegaPixel camera,too. Arrrgh, Its Gold In Their Teeth They prize.
Do they have Auto S.O.S. button? Pirates Need That, Too. It Bettter Float. Bright Orange, Good Color Scheme. How About Switch-Blade Knife for Pirate Fights?
oh, Days of Yor, When Ultee' Was Pirate, Before 18th. Now OLd & Mangled, Displays of Skulls Dancing Thru My Noggin. Also, Fish Locator snd Sonar, If Fall Over Board or Are Marooned. Like radio Gilligans' Professor Built. Oh,My You'd Need License. Finally, Ray Gun Phone To Sink Passing Ships, Too FUN. Funny Thing Is 87% of ALL Pirates Cann't Swim, Let Alone Cell & Swim At SAme Time.
See what happens when Von Drashek stays on his meds. You can almost understand him.
More meds for Von Drasheck!!
the Mad Winemaker
Let's see, an Intel Atom application in gaols. How about calling it "Closed User Group"...
NOTI' HOW TOOK ONE OF yOUR m AWAY. hAHAHA. AHHHH.
Next, finally 32 GB ddr3 IS OUT. Here:
Following an announcement back in January, Samsung has finally made good on its promise of delivering the world’s first 32GB DDR3 memory module. The massive RAM unit is made up of 72 4Gb memory chip dies using Samsung’s 50nm class DRAM technology, lined up in rows of nine quad-die packaged 16Gb DDR3s, mounted on each side of the circuit board. Naturally, they are meant for use in server systems rather than regular desktops.
According to Samsung, the modules operate at 1.35V and have 20% greater throughput compared to 1.5V DDR3 modules. Its lower power consumption levels are in line with the ongoing trend towards more energy-efficient “green” systems. Samsung believes the development of higher density, low-power components will not only reduce electricity bills and other datacenter costs, but will also increase the overall operational efficiency.
In addition to targeting data centers and servers, Samsung’s 4 gigabit chips will also be used to produce 8GB DIMMs for workstations, desktops and laptops – though the company has yet to announce availability and pricing details
When Me gets Mains of These OnBoard, bee Symour Cray Agin. BOTS RULE, BOTS Rule....Arrrhhhhhh.
Me & MY Mexican NAVY, NOT yours....Signed:Ultee' 196 Gb. x??
How about joining Charlie's forum:
http://www.semiaccurate.com/forums/index.php
Charlie is also soon going to add the comment system on www.semiaccurate.com
The country, Somalia, is named after the tribe - they are Somalis. One of them is a Somali. So there is no such thing as a Somalian.
"So there is no such thing as a Somalian."
I thought I had a couple Somalian's for lunch the other day. Isn't that what they call those deep fried things with curried whatsit inside?