Apple to build huge datacentre

MAKER OF GIZMOS and toy computers, Apple plans to build a huge data centre on the East Coast of the former British Colony of Virginia.

According to Datacentreknowledge.com the Apple data centre to be constructed in either North Carolina or Virginia will cost more than $1 billion to build and kit out with computers and will be a huge server farm.

Location has not been decided as Apple is waiting to see which local authority will offer the largest bribe to have the centre installed on its turf.

A billion green backs is more than twice what Google or Microsoft typically spend on a data centre. Obviously if Apple is using its own gear that would make the project twice as expensive, but it is unlikely that Jobs' Mob is ordering the kit from Apple's own stores so it will not have to pay its own ridiculous mark-up.

This probably means that the site will just be a big datacentre and that probably heralds Apple's ambitions to do a bit more online than its Itunes and Apple Apps store. What that bit more might turn out to be is anyone's guess at this point.

However we expect that the same people who moaned about the CERN startup will complain about Apple building a datacentre that is too big near population centres.

Having that much smug gear in one place could possibly fracture the fabric of space and time and cause mini-black holes of smugness that could suck in the whole world.

A singularity of smugness where everyone listens to Coldplay, James Blunt and does what a big proprietary company tells them might be an open source users' nightmare, but it's an Apple fan bois wet dream. µ