VGAs Left4Dead?
LAST WEEK, we asked you readers to come up with a killer caption for the following photo lamenting Intel's anti-trust boo-boo.
Intel not nappy with antitrust verdict
After careful consideration we decided on three captions as worthy winners:
amdboard's "bEUrp..."
Derk's "EU spits out Intel's formula, thinks AMD is tits. Nine out of ten consumers can't taste the difference."
and "The EU tells Intel to bottle it whilst AMD milks situation for all it's worth" submitted by Inqaholic.
Well done to the three of you (your rebates are not in the mail) and thanks to all the rest of you who competed (fairly). We know we can always anti-trust you to make us laugh.
This week we thought we'd give you a chance to comment on the state of the graphics market, and the following pic:
Do new die shrinks mean GPUs have been Left4Dead? What does this mean for the life-like graphics market? We want your best captions and one-liners, readers! µ
PS - No Charlie, don't even think about it. As an INQ writer, you're barred from competing.
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Captions?
"In another month we'll have enough parts to make a second Al Gore."
Charlie's Angels.
I'll say it for you:
"Soon to be named GT300s awaiting QA."
Dead VGA's
"We do not know what the problem is with these VGAs but we're sure we've fixed it"
Jen-Hsun Huang smiled smugly as Charlie disappeared beneath the sea of defective gfx cards wearing his new lead bump boots.
"...i see dead VGAs..."
Charlie's collection of cracked gfx cards?
Blue Box Of Death
Dis were the users, ....stupid!!
Where's the box with "Alive VGA's"?
'Recycle, supplies for the boob doctor'
We THOUGHT they could play Crysis!
"The search for the beer resistant VGA goes on"
Box mis-labelling rife at INQ HQ
My entry:
Charlie was rather hoping for a different type of 'Fried Chips' when he asked Sylvie to grab him some dinner
"A picture is worth a thousand VGA's."
Gotta go with Chronos: "Soon to be named GT300s awaiting QA."
Gentlemen, we have a winner.
If nothing else, Charlie should award Chronos the "Charlie D. 'What I Would Have Said'" award for 2009.
And the inadvertent carton label "Dead VGAs", yep, if that doesn't describe NVidia GT300, then what does?
Too bad there wasn't an empty bin next to that one containing GT300s passing QA.
Watching a box filled with nVy
Please place your unwanted chips here. Every box filled can make one Larrabee.
Thanks kindly,
Intel.
"Charlie says: Always tell your mummy I WAS RIGHT ABOUT NVIDIA ALL ALONG!!"
"It's a good job we put aside money to replace these...but if anyone asks, there have been no failures"
Red and Green PCB unite... Looks like the blue will still win.
After yet another dead graphics card, Bob wasn't so sure removing the fans to make his system quieter was such a good idea.
Big Blue turns to its stock holders for more capital to fund its next big idea.
AnnandTech today posted their latest round-up of graphics card tests, minus the tests.
Amateur overclocker jeffK has so far spent over $12,000 of his parent's money trying to break 1 Million FPS in Quake 3.
Russia clones ATI Again
Today, Microsoft released the official minimum-system requirements for its newest operating system, Windows 7.
Tom's hardware has an article today on the importance of choosing a quality PSU for your kit.
Intel today released a few prototypes of their Larrabee GPGPU.
Behind the scenes at TigerDirect.
"Larrabee anyone?"
I'll bet there's got to be a big blue box filled with larrabee core's because Intel is bitching bout those all year long.
Today, nVidia released its new line of passively-cooled DirectX 11.1 "Vista Capable" videocards, the 9950 series. The "9950" series is not a new die design, nor is it a die shrink. The model number is simply an indication of the temperature, in celcius, at which the card runs.
nVidia's CEO, Jen-Hsun Huang was on hand at the release to re-affirm his company's committment to "enrich the customer experience" as much as possible. He's quoted as saying, "Each card comes DOA from the factory so you do not have to waste time troubleshooting the problem!" He was then seen stumbling over towards the bar where, it is reported, that he began throwing chairs and yelling "I'll fucking KILL Intel!" to any patrons who would listen.
Introducing Nvida's new 'Fix it yourself program'!
More red than green , ATI cover up !
Old, not working nvidia cards. Just like new, not working nvidia cards.
War's a bitch.
"NVIDIA suggests you buy one of the 'new' models, because this is totally nothing to do with the under-fill issues..."
:P
"After all the commotion over making a good caption that would fit with the picture, at the end of the day people were just forgetting that its just a box of broken electronics... i mean seriously people"
Dum dum dum mellow dramatic music and realisation of idiocity.... :)
"California announces it's latest plans to stop global warming and protect the children from GTA in a single move: A ban on power hungry 3D graphics accelerators."
First place prize for who best can bash Nvidia....
I only have 6 in my closet at home.
Microsoft FINALLY has competition: nVidia's ® blue box of death
"nVidia GT300 Engineering sample. Do not touch."
or
"nVidia M8600GT Buy one, get one free"
We are not giving one away fro free because it might fry, we are just a good company.
or
"Dead VGA's. Warning: This box contains 29% of nVidia market share for 2008"
label on the box:
"GPGPU's in action"
and
"nVidia ION integrated graphics (Sorry Intel. They're bigger than your whole Atom based mobo but at least they run solitaire at 999fps.)"
"If we throw them out we can increase our market share!"
"VGAs are dead. Unfortunately it appears that their fans will continue to plague us until R&D gets more money than PR."
We do believe also that they are attracting voles.
http://contests.fotki.com/contests/56/7383.html
"nvidia and AMD seen shuffeling slowly towards Intel marketshare, despite claims by Chipzilla that "brainless" zombies will soon be a thing of the past"
"Just a bucket full, no more we swear, Jen-Hsun Huang"
The next batch will be ultra green. fans made from leafs and all sorts..
"See Charlie's Desk ? See Charlie's 'In' box."
Where's the chip?
"recycled underfill, slightly used, good as new, insurance write off, large quantities available"
"Dont worry lads, most consumers wouldn't touch these, but I'm sure we can find an bunch of idiots who will... think different."
Some remote village in china...(google translation)
Come on kids th`e be precious metals in that pile, cancer or not we need the money! Now tuck in dont be shy.....
Tired of writing negative reviews Charlie enacted revenge directly on the Nvidia cards.
two for you..
Good men and true,
Inside the big blue.
Content inappropriate to both
the green eyed monster
and you so please,
visit fu.eu for more
information about your IQ.
so.. the inquirer is compensating the lack of bad intel graphic cards by puting everything else in a big blue box? I don't know about you but, benjamin franklin said:
Beauty, like supreme dominion
Is but supported by opinion
So frankly it does not matter who we deem dead or otherwise.. but I got to admit that those those gfx cards look hot :P
"Not even a fan would save these"
Graphics cards, now in colour.
Res In Pieces
While trying to get Charlie to write good things about them, Nvidia sent him some 'freebies' that were destined for Dell.
Basel shmazel, next load almost ready.
Good grief.. how old are those card. Do real gamers still buy vga. Also, the bin does not say BAD DVI or BAD GPU, just a BAD VGA... Maybe those cards only have a BAD VGA port, the rest of the card itself is working fine. :)
As I said a while back - not one VGA port in sight - just DVI - god damn these kids
NVIDIA- the way it's meant to be RMA'd
Does this mean that when the UPS truck goes by with it's lights on you have to pull over because of computer bereavement?
Why has nobody ever thought of putting GPU's on a socket so GPU makers can involve less of the computer industry and shipping industry in it's mistakes.
Nvidia comes out on top!
Left green card to the right green card:
"Hooray! Jen-Hsun says tomorrow I'm getting restamped!"
or
"At least we're still on top of the heap...red cards just can't compete!"
nVidia, the way you're meant to be played.
"nVidia: Always on top"
"Buy one, get a full free box. Though you pay the coolers. They still work"
"Jen-Hsun: We like to be ahead of ATI on EVERYTHING"
"Jen-Hsun: We're always on top. Even when failing"
"When the chips are down, you know NVIDIA's got it."
"BREAKING NEWS: Nvidia pulls out of china."
'your snooty nextgen overclocked vga card is next'
'most of these overclocked vgas had short burning orgasms before death.'
'according to marketing ppl, this pile was nextgen 6 month ago'
'it's like looking at an adult japanese movie, of video cards'
'these cards ain't dead, the're just in vga heaven'
Nvidia: At the forefront of sandbox gaming.
Nvidia, making your system hot.
OMG the VGA socket and VGA/DVI adapter is not compatible... Toss DUDs.
Welcome to theSTOCKROOM.
theINQ, Resoleing Shoes Since 1953.
BoardRoom.
SilverSurfer Body Boards.
Going where Others Fail To Leap....
of a Nvidia fanboi is proven the fact, that his daily usage of graphic boards goes down to 87.5% by underclocking them to 10 Hz
"cheap electrolytic CAPS Nvidia"
dead radeon pile is bigger, even though radeons were given special zalman treatment, while geforce pile stayed @ stock.
this might explain some things to you:
http://en.expreview.com/2008/08/26/ati-officially-optimize-catalyst-for-furmark-making-it-run-slower.html
http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=auto&tl=en&u=http://www.pcinpact.com/actu/news/51011-occt-radeon-31-gpu-test.htm
Stop commenting on VGA vs DVI, you just look stupid.
"Save a card, adopt a Linux. This message sponsored by the Anti-cruelvista group"
With a little McGuyver magic, maybe we can turn this into something that will run Crysis on 'high'
"You need to be this much GPU to ride <newestfpsclone " (think rollercoasters)
"This is your computer. This is your Computer after overclocking. Any Questions?"
"Overclocking - JUST SAY NO!"
"The economic downturn has claimed the lives of many at the high-end"
"On DirectX 11 launch day, the switch to AMD cards was instantaneous."
Price war coupled with recession sparks radical retail packaging change in bid to cut costs.
------------------------------------
The Way It's Meant To Be Packaged.
if you can't view it you can't pirate it :)p
or
The world with NONE DRM HDCP compliant VGA cards in the future of 2010 MPAA's wet dream,
Lot of graphics cards for sale!
GREAT ASSORTMENT.
LOW RESERVE!
$300 shipping.
....SOLD AS IS!!!
...right between the EISA ATA/33 controller boards and the PCI 10/100 Ethernet cards.
Case-mod competition standards slipping.
Indiana Jones and the Graphic Artifact
"Today we are very excited to announce our new engine" said Cevat Yerli, CEO of Crytek
As the 32nd video card was disposed of it became clear to the Nvidia shareholders that die shrinking must be stopped.
New multi gpu box falls short of gamers expectations..
"It's a studied fact that if a nuclear explosion hit the entire world.. Only cockroaches and obsolete graphics cards remain"
The way it's meant to be dumped.
Experience NVidia now!
... save yourself the trouble of buying,installing & hours of customer support,
Going fast!!
-aside
Just like to add, that's what my experience(f***ers) was like,
I got burned 3 times,
1/a NV dell(13 months)
2/a NV HP(13 months)
3/a 9400GT, with a replacement 94gt, and another 94gt then 13 months later...
really nice touch from all involved
denial denial denial.
In Europe/UK if they admitted a manufacturing defect the warranty claim period would extend to 6 years.
They will never admit it.
f***ers, all of em cuz they all got into bed with NV on this...dell and hp and everyone else.
"After your death you will be what you were before your birth - a G92."
or
"Only the dead have seen the end of Warcraft."
or
"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will be recycled... First as a 9800gtx, then 9800gtx+, then slyly as a gt200m, and even more slyly as a GTS250 [... to be continued]"
Jen-Hsun: "can't we just sell them as dedicated PhysX cards? If we tape over the pci-e pins so that the system posts, nobody will ever notice the difference..."
My, what a bix box of FLOPS
"Seriously Fubar'd"
"FUBARBUNDY" ???
(^_^)
Dead VGAs - awaiting resurrection.
Dead VGAs - awaiting recycling.
Dead VGAs - the recycle bin.
Buy our newest, coolest VGA fan, which cools anything and have your pick of 3 complementary graphic cards ( from our "Blue Box Of Death" copyright TA above)
EPA - eat your heart out.
"Alas stripping all of the gold traces from the multiple vga cards lying about to pay off the INq's tab at ye old pub in these tough times was short by a few quid"
Positive side of the Recession : DIE SHRINK
Looks to me like there's been an AMD-ATI multiple pile up,with Charlie in the driving seat,oh well,what else,we can't expect miracles from any of them,just a pile of old fiction!!!
"the only box nvidia will see ALL year."
Nvidia spokesperson: "Dead?!? No, that stands for D.E.A.D - errr.... Delivers Extremely Awesome Display...." *casually looks in the air and starts whistling while using foot to push the box out of sight*
"If you think this is one big box of broken graphic cards; Boy, you should see the container we use for the XBoxes!"
Leaked photo of Nvidia's new 100 card SLi Bundle. Ati announce a single card solution.
I think some of you are senile. Those are modern graphics cards. They are not old old vga's. Old vga's didn't have dual dvi connectors and they weren't that big and they definitely didn't have factory ram sinks on them.
Nvidia rebrands old parts in a new marketing spin:
the all new GTX270-8R0k3N
One card says to another card. “It’s getting hot in here.” “I know, and they’ve nicked all the fans.”
“Don’t look now, but I just saw a sexy little ATI card right behind you.” “Wow and she’s got a huge pair of VGA’s, you don’t see many of them in this box.”
Card on the left is singing “VGA card in red is dancing with me, chip to chip.”
A card on the bottom shouts. “Hey, you on the top, shut up, you’re supposed to be dead.”
Kevorkian showed graphics cards how to end the pain. Why would they want to die? Wrath of the Lich King....