Winner of Microsoft plane caption contest

FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS folks, because the jury is back on last week's caption competition. We asked readers to come up with their best captions to go with the following images of a recently spotted "microsoft plane".

Not only were our readers more than up for the challenge, the responses we got were so good, we felt compelled to choose not one, but three winners... two runways up and one Ultimate Win.

In Third place, we've picked Jonny Allen with his Pilot's paperclip terror:

"It looks like you're flying a plane!
Would you like help?

O Get help with flying the plane

O Just fly the plane without help

[] Dont show me this tip again"

In Second place, we thINQ Steve Loveridge deserves a mention for suggesting that:

"When you press the 'Eject' button, you get an annoying yellow triangle asking you 'Are you sure you want to exit this programme, any passengers you haven't saved may be lost?'"

But in First place, and for sheer effort as well as wit, we've chosen Shockproof Paul, who didn't just send us one caption, he sent us 10. Below are a selection of his best:

"American Digital Rights Internet Airline (ADRIA) is the first airline to use the new Microsoft powered dual-core-engines on all of their planes. In order to fly on one of these planes, you will be required to board the plane using one of the Bill Gates numbered 5, 6 or 7. Support for gates 1 - 4 has been removed, therefore, any passenger who boards using these gates will not be given any help when the plane crashes.

"Passengers will be looked after during the flight by our three sexy victorian cute hostesses (svchost for short), System, Local and Network. Any attempt at interfering with one of the hostesses will cause your flight to be grounded within 60 seconds.

"We also have a medic onboard every flight called Dr Watson who will come to your assistance whether you want him to or not.

"All flights are strictly PC and passengers are prohibited from bringing any apples on board but meals may be ordered from the Start menu at any time.

"Any pirates found onboard will be thrown out over China and any penguins found onboard will be safely partitioned off to the cargo bay.

"Students and teachers can use the onboard Office suite at a cost of £99, all other passengers will be charged an arm and a leg." µ