Glorious North Korea develops cyber war unit

THE GLORIOUS People's Republic of North Korea is fighting to protect the Internet, which its Dear Leader Kim Jong-il invented to help his workers understand the words of communism.

South Korea's Yonhap news agency revealed that its northern neighbour has a "technology reconnaissance team" dedicated to collecting information and disrupting US and South Korean military computer networks.

The team was needed to prevent any attempts of armed aggression against Korea by the American imperialistic robber barons, who are the sworn and inveterate enemies of the Korean people.

According to these reports, North Korea has strengthened its cyber warfare unit, increasing the country's ability to launch a computer attack on South Korea and the United States.

North Korea fears that the imperialistic USA wants to steal Dear Leader Kim Jong-il's inventions just like they did his iconic Ipod and Windows operating system.

The North Korean team has 100 hackers, mostly graduates of a military academy in Pyongyang, and the unit has "upgraded equipment and strengthened cyber warfare capabilities." In North Korea that means that they have been given computers rather than pieces of paper.

It is well known that Dear Leader Kim Jong-il's father, "Eternal President" Kim Il-sung, invented the computer when he was single handedly stopping Japanese militaristic aggression. The Glorious Leader - whose birth was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow and a new star in the heavens - wants to protect his father's legacy with the workers.

No doubt the imperialist aggressors are cowering before North Korean cyber squads and are already drawing up surrender documents to hand the Dear Leader when he visits their fleshpots on his next missionary visit to the lands of evil. µ