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Nvidia gives 3D porn the horn

CES 2009 Not everything it does is bad
Friday, 9 January 2009, 19:55

EVERY ONCE in a while, you get to try out a product that you thought would suck, but didn't. Trying out the new Nvidia 3D glasses on a box from Glacier Media Systems proved me wrong.

No really, I admit it. At the AVN show, I got to sit down and try the things without the usual PR power games and kind threats if I didn't step into line. Without that pressure, I could evaluate the technology itself, and it worked well.

Glacier sells media centers, sadly with the broken OS, but what can you do there? The demo was on a fairly large Mitsubishi DLP projection TV, the same kind we saw the other night at the 'other show'.

They are not afraid to tell people what the true use of this technology is for, no, not gaming, but hardcore adult movies. Yes, porn made the internet, DVDs, streaming video, and now it is going to make 3D.

Erotek_dimensions

Erotek Dimensions 3D

With the glasses on, things just pop out at you. Sometimes in pairs. You almost have to duck to avoid getting hit with large silicone objects from Silicone Valleys. This is technology at it's finest, and could only be brought to you by Nvidia.

Glacier_nv_small

If you were wearing glasses, this is how an 80s orgy should look.

In 2D, you sometimes lose track of who's leg that is popping out of the ball of people in that orgy. In 3D, you know exactly who's leg it is, and how close to the camera it is. Nvidia makes bad 1980's porn spring to life. ATI can't do this, not a chance. Things are so real you almost want to take a shower afterwards.

So there you go, Nvidia and Glacier together make adult content jump out at you. If you wanted to know the real reason they are pushing this technology so hard, now you know. 3D Porn and Nvidia, what more can you ask for?

They put the money into money shot. µ

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Comments
Ouch! Come on Charlie!

You could put an eye out with that! I guess most don't need an electron microscope as you. I already got a Missybitchi! Can I teach it sit up?

posted by : Graci Lorrds, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
im stunned

this is possibly the greatest invention ever

posted by : plasticman, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Glad thats out of the way

I'm glad to see such fruits of mans research and intelligence come to such a grand conclusion.

Now how about that cancer?

posted by : Justin, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Peepers Seek Others, Always....Porn or Murder?

Hey-Everyone heres Christmas Tale, with Gutenous Punishment, Maybe even anos thingie. You Could Leave those around house for aHum, retarded people & NOT be burdened by Evidence on Hard Paper. Or Get Your girlfriend Drunk & tell 'Er Its Hocky Game. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8cd448e806/a-christmas-greeting-from-alec-gillis-from-alec_gillis I found this today while looking for dolby gillis info. So Don't Blame Me,I Beem, drashek

posted by : SnakeEyes, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Technology at it's breast, er, best!

I agree with plasticman. It's probably the best thing since sliced bread.

posted by : Evol, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
COMDEX is back baby!!!!

W00t the old-sk3wl COMDEX has returned... PR0N FTW!!

posted by : Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Nice shot.

Good "back of the hand" compliment there, Charlie.

posted by : Guy Gordon, 09 January 2009 Complain about this comment
WOW

this is really amazing, its only a matter of time. This is actually implementing 3d technology, the way it is supposed to be.
I must admit, this is a good use of 3d. And the best way to get it to peoples home.

posted by : missingxtension, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
What is all the fuss about???

This is very old technology that was introduced around the mid 1990s.
http://www.stereo3d.com/shutter.htm

By now one would have expected the price to be much lower than it is.

And NO, this technology is not just limited to Nvidia based cards. Anything with a Z buffer will do just fine, provided the software that drives the glasses allows it.

The one good point is that now with Nvidia pushing it, this technology my become more prevalent.

posted by : sydbod, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Metric

Charlie!

How many SP's required to render a solid angle of silicon? And I mean *SOLID*. What about deeply concave surface redering?

Will a 9800 give me better, you know, resolution than an 8800?

LOL!

posted by : hoohoo, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Dont you just hate it when you....

..."sometimes lose track of who's leg that is popping out of the ball of people"

- Hmmm. Nice leg.
- Oh no! That's a mans leg.
- Does that mean I'm gay?

Finally! Something worthwhile from the Green Team.

All is forgiven.

posted by : Dim-Bulb, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Wahoo...

Finally an article from Charlie worth reading in a long long time!

posted by : UP*rn, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Sigh

I enjoyed this article...I just wish a filter was put on the revamped site to stop 12 year old's from posting comments. Perhaps an IP blocker to prevent it from happening again _

Never the less, an interesting article!

posted by : Mistral, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Shit Creek

Wasn't this in the Jonathan Creek Christmas Special the other day?

posted by : Lee, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Level

At last, Charlie has found his level. I trust he has a long and rewarding career in the porn journalist field. And needn't 'write' for the Inq any more.

posted by : Graeme, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Charlie can have a good time now...

Finally Charlie has a good comment for the green company... Looks like he had real problem in making out whose leg it is. Thanks to nvidia for making his life easier.
isn't is better to watch porn with electron microscope to see good and bad bumps?

posted by : Great Charlie~~, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
You are pathetic

Anyway have some fun now...
I bet you know all the closest restrooms in the proximity of the nVidia booth....

posted by : Titius, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
awesome

Finally, a use for 120hz screens. They can't bring this product to market fast enough!

posted by : jason, 10 January 2009 Complain about this comment
VR finally has a use

why didnt anyone think about this when that crap VR tech from the dark ages (80's) came out instead of all that flying about crap? We would all have VR now.

Charlie, I bet you enjoyed the research on this article! LOL! I knew I should have been a hack.

posted by : i know, 12 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Imagine this...

Imagine this... you are all horny and excited ready to pop watching XXX with your 3D Nvidia shutter glasses... all of a sudden your faulty Nvidia GPU breaks up......... i guess ONLY this would make the Nvidia fanboys realy pissed with Jen-Hsun Huang... :-D

posted by : Ronin, 12 January 2009 Complain about this comment
I possibly don't want to be admitting this

... but I think I've seen that very movie (shown in the article) in anaglyph format. It's quite funny to watch, but it does work. Anyway, use of this format will probably eliminate the need for the $5,000,000,000 bailout for the pron indistry - personally I think both actions needs to be done.

posted by : Steve, 12 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Now I know why...

Now I know why the porn industry in the USA is demanding a 7billion dollar bail out.

..... so it can bundle 3d glasses with all its videos.

But if you doidn't notice this will convert us normall folks with a extra corricular hobby into guys wearing near glasses, but hey atleast the glasses are stylish.;)

You need VISTA to use the glasses to so maybe this is an extra insentive to drive up VISTA sales..

posted by : Sheldon Irving, 12 January 2009 Complain about this comment
Still in beta

I tried it at CES. The tech worked but was still buggy. The IR transmitter would kick in and out causing the glasses to lose sync at a wide field. So there are some obvious limitation on the seating area and this is while I stayed within the limited constraints of the Nvidia setup with their cabled spectacles.

posted by : givver, 14 January 2009 Complain about this comment
meh

meh I watched it and it was sub-par. Also users with ATi CAN watch this, only not with nvidias solution :)

posted by : yuriythebest, 15 January 2009 Complain about this comment
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