HIPPIES LIVING in the tiny town of Glastonbury claim that a new wi-fi network is responsible for a spate of health problems.
Glastonbury, which used to be a mecca for Christian pilgrims looking for King Arthur, has now been largely taken over by New Age hippies who think that it is a place of great healing energies.
That was, until the town set up a £34,000 project wi-fi network on an experimental basis. Apparently wi-fi jiggers about with your chakras and breaks ley lines, which makes you sick.
To counter the bad karma they have surrounded the masts with orgone generators to clean the energy up, but despite claims that the generators can fix the bad energy of a nuclear powerplant they seem to be unable to deal with the terrors of wi-fi.
At a public meeting to discuss alleged health problems in the Somerset town, residents complained of numerous symptoms including headaches, dizziness, rashes and even pneumonia.
One theory they came out with is that wi-fi suppresses the production of melatonin, a hormone which helps to control sleep patterns, regulates the body's metabolic rate and boosts the immune system.
So basically the town is full of fake science and psychosomatic illness which probably would not be there if no one knew the wi-fi was there.
Dr Eric de Silva, a physicist at Imperial College, London said that no studies have found evidence of a connection between exposure to wi-fi and ill health.
A Somerset County Council spokesman said the project designed to support the local economy and encourage tourist and business visitors to stay longer and use local services.
Funny how other towns which have installed wi-fi don't report the same mass outbreaks of illness. Glastonbury has also been served by a mobile phone network and the local broadband ISPs all have cable modems and no one cares about them causing illnesses.
Almost all the complaints are from the New Age movement who spend most of their time finding reasons to be sick so that they can draw disability benefit and experiment with new cures for themselves. µ
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