- Saturday, 11 July 2009
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite - Winston Churchill
Vatican sticks God into Iphone
THE GLORIOUS RELIGION which hold millions of faithful entranced with its message of spiritual enlightenment has attracted the interest of the Roman Catholic Church.
With a surprisingly tolerant outlook, the Vatican has decided that if it can't beat the fanatical religion that is Apple and all its little Macolytes, then it might as well join them.
Pope Benedict XVI has given his blessing on an app which brings the book of daily prayers used by priests straight onto Iphones.
This means that instead of stumbling on the words, or fumbling for an altar boy, the modern priest can just hold up his Jesus phone and read the text.
The Vatican's Pontifical Council for Social Communications has approved the Ibreviary, an Itunes application created by Italian priest, the Reverend Paolo Padrini, and an Italian web designer.
It has more prayers than you can poke a cross at. There are prayers in Italian, English, Spanish, French, and Latin. Soon it will be available in Portuguese and German when they can get a precise translation.
While it was being tried out the Ibreviary was downloaded approximately 10,000 times in Italy. It was probably one priest who couldn't work out how to download it so we wouldn't get too excited.
It costs €0.79 with the money raised going to charity.
Spokesgodbotherer Monsignor Paul Tighe said the Church was learning to use the new technologies primarily as a means of evangelising.
Pope Benedict XVI was given an Ipod in 2006, although we don't know if he still uses it as the batteries would have run out by now. He has used his mobile phone to spam pilgrims with the tagline "BXVI."
We would have thought that an interaction between the Pope and Steve Jobs would end up with a fist fight over who was the most infallible. µ
L'Inq
AP
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I bet that Apple gets rid of this app since he won't want some 2 bit religion like Catholicism taking any screen time away from the Lord Thy Jobs.
They should call it iGod
Armageddon right there in your hand.
Hei Nick, you do not seem to like them very much, hahaha. It shows. Fine with me, I don't either!. May be they will organise a burn of jPhones I mean iPhones if a similar app was developed for any of the other religions :-)
What a laugh !
iGod, jPhone, heehee.
Taking it one step further, is the credit crunch Satan's way of taking Job's wealth ?
Bet the almighty will send forth his commandments via iPhone.
Even the Ark of the Covenant has to downsize, these days...
Come on Nick, I say that because of the way you belittle Christianity in your opening statement. You see the secular humanist at their best when they give the Nobel Peace Prize to the anti-Semite idiot Jimmy Carter or the biggest liar on the planet (manmade global warming) Al Gore, both are socialist wannabes. But they look over Mother Teresa who did more for humanity than either one of the other selfish SOBs could ever have done put together.
Vicious vitriol Nick.
Why so angry? Linux only has 1% of the market?
You Brits crack me up.
It's got to be bad enough being in a delusional cult where you can't have a girlfriend, wear funny cloths and people think your a kiddie fiddler. But to join the catholic church as well!
Please someone hack the junk and translate it into Klingon.
http://www.kli.org/wiki/index.php?Klingon%20Bible%20Translation%20Project
It's always easier to disregard others when you don't wish to take the time to learn why people like Apple so much.
The belittling part is simply a lack of maturity and intellect in order to minimize them to your level. It's sad really.
Surely iTalian.
a)Secrets of the Vatican - UFO's in the Ancient Art:
http://cristiannegureanu.blogspot.com/2008/11/secrets-of-vatican-ufos-in-ancient-art_10.html
b)THE STAR OF BETHLEHEM MYSTERY:
http://cristiannegureanu.blogspot.com/2008/12/astronomer-dave-reneke-believes-he-has.html
c)Jacques Vallee: FATIMA EVENT WAS UFO - More seriously, the description made at Fatima, Portugal, OF ASILVERY DISK WHICH FLEW THROUGH THE SKY, WAS SEEN BY SEVENTY THOUSAND WITNESSES AND WAS PHOTOGRAPHED AS IT MANEUVERED, deserves a place in our resume of the 'flying saucer' legend:
http://cristiannegureanu.blogspot.com/2008/12/j-vallee-fatima-event-was-ufo.html
d)VATICAN OFFICIAL DECLARES EXTRATERRESTRIAL CONTACT IS REAL:
http://cristiannegureanu.blogspot.com/2008/11/vatican-official-declares.html
iT's a funny article, with great comments.
Is someone going to put the bible on a PDF and stick it on the iGodphone?
Wake up the apostates with the Liturgy of the Hours_ I hope you have unlimited calling minutes. Here is the very sin of Simony which has pitted Episcopals Anglicans against Presbyterians, Protestants against Catholics. Dante Alighieri condemns Simonists to the eighth circle of hell in his Inferno, despite who says what Simon says, only your vicar knows for sure; yet here, in the garden of earthly delights, and your friendly Apple APP Store, the indulgences are being flogged as candy apples to the Ifaithful. Sub Rosa. The Divine Right of Kings (Oh Henry! Off with their heads!), the Royal Perogative of suspending the holy offices of church and state, by mobile proxy is unadulterated trafficking for money and with ring and crosier or 3G lance, The Concordat of Worms, dragon or snake, is trampled to the lay man, and the intercessory becomes the Iphone -- for Iconfession, Ieucharist, Iepistle, Ipenitent Rite, I hale Mary, Isacrament(o), Ioffertory, Icelebrant, Icantor, Ialtar, Ichalice, Icuria, Idogma, Inave and Iseceder! Saints preserve us from the Pastel Wars that are sure to come with Ibrimstone and Imfired!... what? Me? Like Iccarus have flown too close to the rotten core, and my wings become sullen and cidery. Woe be to Him that has the keys to Iphone app deactivation, for his is the Devine Right of Jobs. I may never work in this town again!
It's A Wonderful Life!
Having ingested the sacrifice of gobbledygook, it is time to complete the natural cycle. Those whom are living and possess thoughts, have The Living God within them reflected as The Tree Of Life which leads back to more gobbledygook. When The Living God cannot be accounted for, human thoughts will suffice. Roll-on discotheques, world parades and any other messiahanic emissions. However it is fronted, hypocrisy is none other than addiction itself and it would be self-benevolent to realise that such principles are not within the vocabulary of The Living God. Only the dead needs excitements, the living merely loves which is just another word for joy-in-progress, an aspect that do not exist within the vocabulary of ritual-cum-addiction.