INQ victory in Intel Pub Quiz

AS EXCITEMENT CRACKLED in the air like electricity does in pictures but never seems to in everyday life, Team INQ steadied itself with yet another round of (admittedly, free) drinks. After all, this was serious business.

'This' was the annual Intel Journo Pub quiz, and it was a pub quiz that the Inq was determined to win. After all, integrity was at stake. Honour was at stake. And above all else, Ipod Nanos were at stake.

Actually, first prize was an Acer netbook for all team members, but, as we rationalised amongst ourselves, who wants an Acer netbook anyway?? Sheesh kebab. Besides, first place is for nerds and squares. We knew we had to aim for second. In fact, we swiftly realised, the self-sabotage required to come in second despite our overpowering collective intellect would be a far tougher challenge than the actual quiz itself.

It all started out innocuously enough. "Name the film" questions, current affairs, music. Nothing us seasoned Inq hacks couldn't handle, especially not a team with such a diverse range of talents (and ages). UFO expert and direct line to Gary McKinnon's mum, Mark Ballard, led the charge with a stunning amount of knowledge about 80s music; video guru and general knowledge genius extraordinaire, Wily 'Wil' Ferret; sarf africaan ex-Inq sub ed, Ian Williams; towel correspondent Sylvie Barak; and two very knowledgeable friends in the form of Novatech's James Dean (yes, really) and freelance Brian (BWWIAAAN??).

As the gruelling rounds got tougher and tougher, Team INQ took the heat like pros, fuelled by nothing but inordinate amounts of booze and naked ambition (or at least, naked ambition covered modestly with an oversized towel, honest).

Then came the last round, the make or break round before those crucial results were announced. Tech. A shudder of fear went round the room as lesser hacks (yes, that's you The Sun) steeled themselves for a thrashing. A thrashing the INQ would duly deliver.

Sure, we got one wrong, but in all fairness, "wrong" is sometimes a bit subjective. Especially when Intel has crazy notions such as Berners Lee being more influential to Tech than Steve Jobs. Sheesh. And what the tech does it have to do with anything which boyband won Intel's unsigned musician competition? Seriously, only losers would know that (ehem, Trusted Reviews, ehem).

Stuffing ourselves on cheesy puff pastries and sausages, we waited tensely for the results to come in. Had we managed it? As the results were read in reverse order, we lowered our heads to Pray (which, incidentally, was the answer to the Take That music question we got wrong too, proving we aren't sad cases).

And finally, second place was announced, "THE INQUIRER!"

We had done it! All our collective brain power had landed us exactly where we wanted to be: high enough up to look intelligent, but without being swots.

As we cheered and whooped with excitement (before recovering our dignity with a swift slurp from the nearest pint), Trusted Reviews knew their shiny new netbooks were just an illusion of victory. We hadn't wanted them in the first place.

For pictures of the event and the victorious Inq dream team, see our Facebook fan page.

That's our story and we're sticking to it. µ