Microsoft launches... softwear

THINK YOU KNOW Microsoft software? Think again, as the Vole harnesses the term as a cute tag for its new clothing line.

No, seriously. We aren't even kidding. Microsoft. With a clothing line.

It can't sell Vista without foisting that on naive punters through preloads, Apple's selling a lot more Macs, Linux is getting preloaded on netbooks, and free Open Office makes buying Microsoft Office seem spendthrift, so maybe the Vole is just hedging its bets in case that whole software thing goes all pear-shaped.

The company is to begin selling t-shirts with a retro theme, hoping to capitalise on a wave of computing nostalgia by alluding to the halycon days of yore, back when Windows was but a twinkle in Bill Gates' four eyes, and 640k of memory was enough for anyone. Ever.

The t-shirts have been created by advertising agency Crispin Porter Bogusky, and contain such wild slogans as "DOS" and "Microsoft". In crazy fonts, obviously.

Quite who the target market for these shirts are, we're not sure. We struggle to think of anyone - even the geekiest of the nerdcore - who would get down with these.

Obviously anticipating this problem, the Vole has signed up hip-hop artist and sometime actor Common to be its spokesman and paid model endorser. Forgive us if we think one of the coolest rappers around doesn't quite jive with the Microsoft retro vibe.

Bill Gates famously pronounced at last year's All Things Digital conference that he wished he had the taste of arch-nemises Steve Jobs. Clearly he needs it: if Jobs was crazy enough to launch a t-shirt line, it would at least look wearable, although they would likely be turtleneck t-shirts. In black.

Regardless, expect to see these rags on sale in the new year. And in the end-of-line bargain basket by Easter. µ

L'Inq
Cnet