IT know-nothings cause chaos in the workplace

"NOOBS are causing havoc in the workplace "

Good job I'd just put my can of Stella down or I'd have choked >.<

Feel free to post this list in your employee lunch area for a IT trouble free work week.

1: If you press the power button on your computer and it does not turn on, don't panic. You didn't kick the power cord with your foot, it's simply on a lunch break.
2: You computer tower is designed to be waterproof, feel free to place your coffee or soda on it. Or better yet use the complementary beverage holder built in.
3: Yes, the keyboard and mouse are wireless just like yours at home. The cord coming out the back is there so you can hang them in your cubicle when not in use.
4: If the printer light is blinking it is NOT out of paper. Simply take off external parts until it starts printing again. If that fails start removing internal components.
5: USB ports and fire wire ports are interchangeable. If it does not fit, you need to push harder.
6: All internal components of your computer are hot swappable.
7: If the fan noise is bothering you, just tape over the vents to reduce the sound level.
8: Your desktop scanner is as sturdy as the floor copier, feel free to scan a 'moon shot'.
9: Yes your Macbook has Internet Explorer... keep looking.
10: If you just ask, your IT guy will be happy to unblock all the porn sites for you.
11: When it comes to CDs, always remember - shiny side up.
12: Your tape backup will play a Beatles cassette, but do not load a Rolling Stones tape as it will not play.
13: Your computer likes Cheetos just as much as you do.

Sarcasm aside, all those are true from the last few months and I only have 20 people in the office.

"The worst offenders when it comes to pestering other colleagues about IT i ssues are lawyers – 81 percent apparently off-load their problems onto others. "

If they can't charge someone by the minute it's not worth their time, let someone else do it.

I wanted to thank you for this article, because frankly, nobody ever seems to acknowledge let alone reward the people that have to put up with the ignorance and unwillingness to learn of most office workers.
I work as a department head in a large multinational company, and I can tell you that the level of computer knowledge throughout all layers of the hierarchy in the company is staggeringly low. I fully agree with you that the problem seems to be getting worse, you would expect younger people to have a better understanding of computers while in fact it is, as you state correctly, the older people who seem to do a better job coping with new technology.

I lose one hour on a daily basis just solving extremely stupid it-problems like missing drive-mappings, programs not working, printers not printing, ... and no matter if you take the time to explain to people how to solve the exact same problem in the future, they will still be stuck and call for help - every single time!
Add to that the fact that our IT has all been centralized, when we have a problem, we have to contact a call-center in Portugal (we're in Belgium) staffed with people who's knowledge is worse than the people experiencing the problems in the first place. The outsourced engineers they send us are usually rubbish and need my help to solve the problems anyway.

IT in companies is usually absolute crap, and without the few knowledgeable that still want to help all the other colleagues out, things would simply come to a standstill.
I've also learned that the top managers pay extra to get a better level of it-support than the other workers, and that's purely on our backs of course. Mmmm, maybe we should all rebel and stop doing the work for no extra pay or recognition? I'll have a think about that after I help the call-center out with the server they can't seem to reach this morning...

Chris.

Wonderfully summarised CyborgTMT :)


I agree with Chris, thank you for the article. I think I'll go out on a limb and say that a lack of basic IT skills can for the most part be related to people with unmotivated/selfish attitudes (unless they're just getting on a bit - you can't teach an old dog new tricks)
I've worked on an IT Help desk in the past and in many of the situations where a solution has been a simple one the employee should have been able to do themselves, you discover that they generally have ignorant, impatient and usually condescending attitudes, how do you put it, 'A bad workman always blames his tools'. I think a lot of people use/create IT faults just as a way to blow off steam onto someone else or to create an excuse for not being on time with work.

Regarding centralised management of IT causing issues. My call centre too was central (though in the UK). The poor training/employee quality is usually a direct result of poor management decisions. With us our training and mandate was limited as a reason to reaffirm our low pay status. Meaning that our structure was ridged and when large volumes of specific issues arised, there was not enough of the manpower capable/trained to deal with them. Poor mix and match software implementations also led to a lot of issues and cost a lot more money than a cost saving call centre.
I do believe you can successfully implement remote monitoring and management but you have to have the physical infrastructure to allow it to function reliably.

Just remember, "If you type Google, into Google, you could BREAK the Internet."

Interesting to see who commissioned the report. The basic IT skills promoted by the sponsors and taught in schools and colleges and large employers don't address things like attaching drives and printers. They don't address touch typing. They address passing a qualification, without knowing much about what you are doing.

I enjoy providing informal IT support, its the bit extra I bring to the team.

Lets dump the ECDLs, CLAIT and ITC and teach people something useful.

Just do some minimal reading on how to connect to a network share and everything else is forgiven. Scouts honor!

They are out to squander-bug every pence on new fangled technology. This squanderlust for foreign spyware will bring waistland to Britain. Either I am the unwitting participant in a particularly cruel reality show,... oh sod it, there lurks an evil spirit intent on humiliating me. Part of me would like to be proud of this extra pocket poundage put paid to e-IT skills, and to pat the old taxman with the air of satisfaction; of a self-made Big Bruvvar who having custom Burberry IT to be done and shall have to do; "Bought and paid for, my dear, bought and paid for, again". Who should be buggered if I do dial 999 in the likely event of things gong wrong? 
Is ours not the empire which invented:
The Rugby?
The Hockey?
The Tennis?
The Cricket?
The Football?
The Golf?
The Badminton?
The Squash?
The Great Wally Gherkin Tower?
The Inquirer?
??...
I purchased a crimson one to trump the color... only to be informed that IT was manufactured in Daamitistan. Oh Bluggey Nora!

I wish!

I've done more than that today just trying to sort out a laptop that's been dumped on my desk...

Would be nice if Vista SP1 didn't bork completely and leave me reaching for the rescue disks...

What idiot ordered this OS of satan in the first place... Oh, hang on, that's would be the Boss who still believes the hype.

This is all absolutely true - but it's just one aspect of a more general, and still more pernicious, syndrome. British management is mostly very reluctant to get a grip on what is actually going on at the coal face, preferring to sit in offices, reading reports and playing with spreadsheets. If managers took the trouble to get to know their employees and observe the patterns in the workplace, they would know very well which people do more than their share and which are passengers.

Instead, it is all too often the clueless and lazy who end up being promoted and coopted into management, where they can lord it over those who did - and still do - the actual work.

Thanks for sharing.

Regards,
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