The INQUIRER guide to marketing English

A quick jaw-jaw on the backseat of the bus convinced us that there is a compelling (qv) case for a guide to marchitecture in an attempt to stop our craws being overloaded with rubbish, going forward (qv).

Here's a tentative attempt in a bid to root out once and forever the gobbledegook and mind swill we all have to endure, going forward (qv). µ

Aggressive Growth Plans Cutting costs and increasing Customer Service (qv)
Automate Get rid of jobs
Best of Breed Old dog of an idea or product
Can-Do Attitude We hope he/she sells a lot of kit
Competitive Environment Another firm is trashing us
Compelling Not at all important. Put on the back burner
Comprehensive Patchy
Core Competencies Selling kit
Creative Run of the mill
Customer There's one born every minute
Customer Centric Customers at the periphery
Customer Facing Hiding from customers
Customer Focused Blind to customers
Customer Service Customer Disservice
Enhancement We've fixed the issues (qv)
Exciting Dead boring
Going Forward Making sure no-one sees you're going backwards
Innovation Old idea we've lifted from someone else
Issue Bug
Key Analyst Someone we've paid a lot of money to agree with everything we say
Key Journalists Absolute scum that we have to deal with
Key Player Bit-part member
Legacy The product won't work with older systems
Platform Place from which gravy train departs
Professional Amateurish attempt
Put on the back burner Ignore the problem and hope everyone forgets all about it
Repositioned Product not selling. All change
Significant Impact No effect at all
Solution Acid rain
Speak Offline Never give an answer to a question
Stakeholders People we want to keep away from company vampires
Strategy Tactics
Sustainable We can just about do it
Synergy We've been taken over. Now we've got to work with those @!#(#@#!
Tactics Panic stations
Transparency Opacity
Unique Ten a penny
Unsustainable No can do

See Also
The INQUIRER guide series