Gladiator leather, barbarian paraphernalia dumped on eBay

A HAUL OF Gladiator booty, including a leather strap that screen hunk Russell Crowe sweated into during the making of his one decent film, is being auctioned off on eBay.

The film memorabilia is thought to have been put on the market after a particularly nasty, "You think more of that strap than you do of me," domestic argument, between a film industry worker and his incoming live-in girlfriend.

Now the poor sap's entire movie memorabilia collection, which he doubtless pinched off the film sets he was working on, is being put up for auction.

Hugh Walter, a toys and collectables expert at eBay agent Auction4U, said he'd never seen a more dramatic incident of domestic clearance in his career. "She's completely cleaned out his attic," he coughed.

Now there are blood-stained arrows, gore-infested swords and a half broken dagger (bearing the scars of some victim's chest) spilling out all over eBay. Arnold Schwarzeneggar's face has been twisted into a hideous death mask. "It's a scene of utter carnage," according to Walter.

"The story is, she was moving in with him, and she wanted him to get rid of all his collectors items," he said. In case he hesitated, she took them straight to the local west London auction house nearest the film studios, where they were immediately listed.

The film memorabilia collection isn't even selling that well. The wrist strap worn by Russell Crowe (regarded by many women as a sex object, rather than a boorish twat who throws his weight around when he's had a few drinks) is currently only commanding £31.

Nevertheless, the film industry man's fiancée is determined to eradicate her new live-in lover's past. So the Ebay superhighway is now littered with his abandoned Roman and Barbarian swords, and his body cast of Robert De Niro, which he swiped from the film set of Frankenstein.

The feisty female has even made him sell off his robot companion, Kryton, out of Red Dwarf.

A single man is only half complete, said Dorothy Parker once, but once he's married, he's finished. µ

EBAY L'INQS
Sword
Russell Crowe cuff
Arrows