Apple announcement just a load of hot Air

WE JUST GOT OUT of the dog and pony show that Apple put on at the BBC television centre - and my, what ponies. Apple streamed the San Francisco keynote to a cinema-sized screen at Auntie, and invited a tonne of press and 'guests' to watch the fun unfold - and sample the delights of announced products.

Let's start with the small. Updates to the Iphone are fine, but were never going to blow the world away - especially since the majority of the features were already added by hackers months ago (such as the home screen customisation). The idea of charging for the Ipod touch update is also ludicrous - $20 for a mail application is really taking the pee.

Much of Jobs' keynote was spent on material with absolutely no relevance to an audience outside the US. Movie rentals on Itunes are a great idea, but given that it took years for TV purchasing to make its way across the Atlantic, expect licensing problems to delay the roll-out of movie rentals in Blightly until 2009 at the earliest. This also makes the latest Apple TV update terribly boring, enabling as it does the purchase of a tiny list of over-priced TV shows. Lame.

So leaving aside the glorified NAS box, we come to the main event - the Macbook Air. In his typical showman style, Steve saved the best to last, although this trick nearly backfired - the audience at the Beeb was so monumentally bored by the 45 minute mark that anything less than a stellar announcement would have caused a mutiny.

The notebook itself is undoubtedly an amazing feat of engineering. Holding it in your hands, the sheer thinness is really quite spectacular. It's easy to make comparisons with the old Sony X505, which is really the closest in terms of size that I've seen another machine. The aluminium casing is smooth and feels great in your hands - it's certainly a head turner. The keyboard is just like the Macbook and the latest Apple desktop keyboards - if you like it you'll like this; if you hate the lack of travel you'll loathe this equally.

What of its much-vaunted missing features? Well, the optical drive omission is certainly gutsy, if crucial to get the machine to this size. Those who will really miss it can buy the similarly styled add-on, which is a good alternative - even if it does tie up the single USB port. That single USB port is crying out for a hub - the fact there are just three ports on this machine is really incredible - no modem, no ethernet, no firewire, no mic. This is a modernist rig, built for the minimalist Starbucks generation - and we predict an explosion in aftermarket all-in-one docking stations for the machine, such as a USB-hub-networking-port-tastic USB device to add in all the features you're missing when sat on a desktop.

Also missing is the ability to do anything about the spec once it's arrived. The Macbook allows you to upgrade the hard drive and memory very simply indeed - not so on the Air. The all-in-one aluminium shell precludes not just upgrades but battery replacements too. This is starting to become a worrying trend for Apple - first the Iphone, now the Air. No word on how much a replacement will cost or the expected life of the five hour battery, but the inability to swap in a new battery will be a killer for many road warriors.

What of Intel? The chip that powers the Air is a repackaged low-voltage Merom, and repackaged is really the word for it - the difference in size is remarkable, and we bet Intel is salivating at the other products it can get this bad boy into. It's rather funny that for all the Intel roadmappery that hits the net these days, there was not a glimmer of this one on the horizon. That's what working with Apple does for you.

When all was said and done, it was hardly a wasted journey to ol' London town - but the blatant second-class citizenship of the UK is a little hard to swallow. Even more irritating than this were the group of journalists that insisted on clapping along with Steve's announcements on the big screen. I don't think anybody told them the satellite link didn't go two ways. µ