Last week in Hermit's Cave

"Once had a Kat called Stripe (as in Red) and one called Sid. Sid was named after Sid Vicious - people would say "Oh, he doesn't look nasty." to which we would reply "We named him after Sid Vicious because he can't play bass" -- The Evil Dr. Spinola

ALL THE THREADS below are available in Hermit's Cave, which you can find here.

Poll Roundup
What do the TCBs mean by 'Berties'? Beats the crap out of us.

FNG Roll call
BETTYBU DGOODNDBAD TERRY_OMAHA SFMH3

Weekly Folly
You know you people need a bloody hobby. Damn board is going nutz with posts. Damn thread about people's lunch passed 120 posts in like 24 hours. People just because I'm unemployed don't mean I don't have a life. For Jeff's sake take it easy on me. It's bad enough I have to go through 2000 damn posts looking for Newbies, then Spinola isn't even reading the damn summary, AND HE'S THE ONE WHO ASKED FOR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. And the goddamn word association thread. I know the weather is getting bad people, but go to a pub or something. Then SDMYHIENEY is posting from his vacation. Uploading pictures on the hotel dialup, which must have cost a bloody fortune. $%@#&%^&@%^#@&%#@&#%@$#!^% and another thing #(*$&@*(&#@&#%^@*@^#*@%&#&(@%^

AND BLOODY LINUX!!!!

And all the whiners. "Owww I've never been mentioned in the summary." How would you like to be mentioned in the obituary? Ungrateful bastards.

What do the TCBs mean by 'Berties'? Now we have to have Flash create a poll to try and determine what the forums strangest couple means by 'Berties". Who bloody cares. The worst part is it was a popular thread post wise, but nobody said a bloody thing halfway interesting. Best I can reckon is it's Licorice, and that was sussed by Bobs your Dinosaur, who doesn't even like Licorice. Then Mrs. TCB starts talking about Purple pants. ??? What the hell is that about, somehow it was in reference to Telly Tubbies. Which for some reason Gothic Tigger (Mr. "I've never been mentioned in the summary" his self) felt he had to bring up for some reason.

IKEA is crap - discuss Turned into one of the more nasty wars of this century. With Ikea lovers on one side, and the evil nutz on the other. Flounder for some reason felt it necessary to post everyday that he still had not been to Ikea. Never mind that the closest one to his house is 500 miles away. There was a brief discussion of fish, and fish derivatives for a while. The mentioning of Yuppie scum brought about a discussion on the pro's and con's of BMW's and the driving habits of those who would rather be seen in their cars rather than actually drive them. NADU2 admitted to being in a 12-step recovery program. The discussion about cars eventually degenerated into another "Vehicles I've had sex on/in/around the back of all prompted by Mrs. Flounders corvette fetish. Apparently Spinola is approx 3 feet (1 meter) tall, cuz he boasts of doing it in a Fiat X/19, and Thermionic apparently ruined an E-type. Lots of other interesting stuff, but to cut it short, the thread ended with one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse, Spinola attempting to install Mandrake on one of his freebie computers.

"What's an FNG?" A F*cking Neanderthal Git that's what you bloody bastards. Been using the phrase for months, and no one even noticed. Cept for that Pinko bastard KAP.

And a big FNG welcome too KAP introduced us to BETTYBU, who isn't near as odd as he is, but still odd nonetheless. Another one of those threads that have an arsebiscuit load of posts, with nothing of real interest. Gothic Tigger admitted he's Ozzy, or else he just has really flat hair. A bit of heresy near the end. Oh and putting unreliable English sports cars up a tree.

Harry Potter and the House of Spinola First I would like to let everyone know that Spinola has recovered well from the Operation where Mrs. Spinola surgically removed his manhood. Essentially a discussion about marriage, and TCB frigging around with his sig and stuff, and how it looks screwed up on Kenny Skaffman's computer.

What's everyone having for lunch? Talk about a thread worse than Bloody word association. "I had a Whopper", "Chicken Vindaloo here!" . Then we went onto 30 posts or so creating an ID card for Promethea so he can run around nibbling on people's lunches. Somewhere around post 75, Flashy (after obviously into the scotch his self) asked why everyone on the Forum was Scottish. Que? Along those lines I would like to point out that the city with the second most number of forum members (after London of course) is Nashua NH. What in the hell is up with that? Well the Scottish discussion led into a discussion of Football, and the members of the partially Scottish football team. As well as the fact that St. Andrew had never even set foot there. Though I understand he was fond of haggis.

additives Well thank Jeff, finally a thread that is somewhat interesting. All sorts of bits about cars. Frnht and Gothic Tigger need a little help. Feel free to put in your crap advice. Most of us did.

Human cloning then - what about it? Blah blah blah this, blah blah blah that. Thanks Roto, what are you some kind of troublemaker. Bunch of crap opinions on the ethical situations surrounding cloning. Somewhere along the line Frnht broke Delphi (forgot to carry a two or something), and Evil Dr. Spinola ran around editing and/or deleting peoples posts. The damn cheeky monkey.

Mary Whitehouse dies age 91 Bunch of insensitive bastards, the English version of Tipper Gore dies, and you lot have nothing nice to say. Allot of generally negative discussion about the nut. Moved onto discussions about child bearing (can you imagine being the Queen Mums Gynecologist, man that's a job where you've got to drink heavily before going in to work). Somehow it moved onto a discussion of pet names and the like. Then a bunch of HTML trouble and the like.

Arsebiscuits the lot of you. Bloody posting about useless crap like Cloning, and Linux. And can you stop whining about the damn HTML button. Bunch a cuties bringing their girlfriends and wives. What are we some damn marriage counseling support group. Frnht is apparently on the wagon, fewer late night rambling posts. And everyone of you lot, who's complained about not being in the summary, I've always found a reference, so shut your pieholes.

Now that Andrew has installed Linux and it went smoothly, can we expect him to do a full reversal? I think not. Bugger's probably deleting files at random just so he can show how unstable it is. TCB and FRNHT are bound to be determined break Delphi permanently.

Hermie's Quotable Quotes.
To: ROTOPLOOKER

Awww gawd, come on!

I got modern stuff! Kerosene lamps replaced bear fat years ago. And the only thing I use rocks for of any size is throw at nosey touristers.

As I've said before, loin cloths are not a mode of dress for the woods. Deer flies, ticks misquitos and other blood suckers don't need any more skin area than Levis and a shirt allow to survive. Actually still have hair on the very top. Foreheads a bit higher than in my teens I have to admit. I just take my new electric beard trimmer now, put it on the highest setting and start at neck level. Cuts beard and hair at about 3/4(20m) inch all over the head bone.

Wanna see a fairly good portrait? Take a look at my new one in the Profile. I have a bit slimmer figure, the camera angle is the sh#ts...

You Young Whippersnappers,

These Are The Good Old Days!

The Hermit

To: Flashman (THEFLASHMAN)

*** we live under the paternal dictatorship of the Hermit,

Lord!

I really like the sound of that!

What's this paternal sh#t? Fatherly? Like you're all a bunch of little bustartds? Nawww, I wasn't over there that long and besides you're all too young.

New!! 99.999% Pure!!!!!

Contents may settle.

The Hermit

Sid

That enough Mentions for you Ozzy (GT).