Hermit's Cave Summary

Timewasters
FLASHMAN, SKAFFMAN, SPINOLA, TCB, REDBARON, TAMEALIEN, PROMETHEA, DSMITHINQ, TIGGER, LEAHCIM

New posters
JOHN76, ANDECHE3, KIPPER, NITESTORM, EMAILPACK, SKILLESS, GYU Been an interesting week - lots of bits and bobs happening -- read on for details.

General Wibble
Tame Alien posted a truly rubbish joke here. More terrible jokes followed. Avoid this thread if at all possible.

The Inquirer Out Of Focus Group meeting was organised for 27th September. I'm doing my tax return so I didn't make it, but here are the usual pictures of drunken debauchery on the OOFG site. Oh Spinola!

Politics
There was a whole load of political wibble this week which I'm not even slightly interested in. You'll have to wait for one of our resident political gurus to write a summary before you'll see all that on here. Meanwhile, start anywhere in the "Politics" folder on our forum. It's probably worth mentioning FEVRIUL as our least knowledgeable poster on the subject...only joking :-)

The Grauniad
Well, we've kinda enjoyed emailing in to the Guardian website when they're doing the minute-by-minute coverage of, well, any sport really. An all-time best was achieved when the ratio of spoof posts from us to actual commentary went to about 1:1. Follow this thread on Hermit's Cave for the gory details. They never even realised they were being borked...

Sid Missing
Our missing moderator is still worthy of a good wibble. Unfortunately this rapidly turned into a debate about China. Luckily, it was soon derailed into a conversation about all the different types of beer the gentle folk in the Cave like to drink. There seems to be a worrying tendency towards fruit beers at the moment, which as you will certainly know is the work of Satan. I feel certain the heathens will discover the One True Schiehallion fairly soon.

Earthquake
This one was started by me. We had a bit of an earthquake in the UK, which is rather unusual. I ended up standing in the street wearing a dressing gown shouting things like "What the hell was that??". But I dealt with it calmly, of course. By post 40 we were into TV sitcoms and then into which version of Star Wars was best. Honestly chaps/chapesses, nobody cares! Except for you lot, of course.

Xenophone of the Day
We started a new game here, where we pick a random country and try to think of reaons why we should laugh at them a bit. Iceland got it (Bjork and Magnus Magnusson), also Germany, England, you name it. Quite fun - please feel free to join in with your favourite bugbear.

Wahey II
Oh my goodness. WELSH BLOKE and his missus are having twins. Rather like the twins I announced with the Baroness a few weeks back. But involving different people, of course. However, we have found the cause: PROMETHEA has been firing the Hermit's Cave Twin Ray ® indiscriminately at people, so it's all his fault. He's promised to stop now. Anyway, congratulations to both of them. Can we organise some babysitting please?

Catharsis
ARRON wrote a piece in the Inq about how good Linux was. He got a quick slagging off in the Cave, and then the talk naturally turned to Flashy's house, and the art of beer drinking. Apparently ARRON isn't allowed to drink beer until next week, so we all giggled at him rather a lot. In a nice way, of course. Flashy is trying to sell his house. He's been trying to for some time, so he finally ordered an ADSL connection for it so he could browse the Inq at a decent speed. Of course, he hasn't stopped talking about it, and TCB threatened to drown a kitten every time it was mentioned. Some folks just don't realise that the rest of the world has had broadband for ages. And yes, I'm talking to you SPINOLA! Anyway, once the ADSL is installed and fully working, the offer on the house can't be far away...

There is a god, he loves us all so much
Apparently Jeffrey Archer has got into trouble for going to a dinner party when he wasn't supposed to. He is, of course, supposed to be in jail. Anyway, we all had a good chortle about it.

There were at least 17 big punfests (as only the British contingent can do, although they were helped rather professionally by our non UK posters) and lots of wibbling about Dead Air, and if it was a good book, and also some discussion on the size of Basil's nose.

Come join us - you can log in as a guest or create a login here, and talk more nonsense than we do! Although I will believe that when I see it...

Hermie's quotable quotes
One of the cheaper drinks on yon tropical islands is coconut juice or milk that's fermented in the husk. Punch a hole it, shove a tad of sugar in and reseal with a wood plug. Bury in hot sandy beach. Wait until they quit exploding and drink those that remain. Do not spill on furniture and upholstery. Do not smoke! Usually after a glass you couldn't coordinate your fingers well enough to light a match or make a cigarette lighter work anyway. Good stuff, sight normally returns and the scar tissue goes away as you age. My lower lip is almost all healed now.

Hermit

This summary brought to you by a rather nice Australian Shiraz and the lovely scent of Talisker...