Orange targets Glasto with wind-powered phone charger

THE TECHNOLOGY INDUSTRY has won another significant victory in its bid to colonise the arts and spread corporate values, as Orange announced a major new bridgehead into the Glastonbury Rock Festival.

In a vast, eye catching monument to orthodox conglomerate thought processes, Orange is to erect a Orange mobile wind charger. The totem could prove a rallying point to uniformed yes-men and women, dressed down in smart casual chinos with corporate logo polo shirts. Having established themselves in sufficient numbers, they will then drive a wedge through the crowd, stifling any atmosphere that threatens to build up, and neutralising exuberance with passion killing discussions of 'compelling content'.

No, hang on, that's completely unfair.

We've all got mobile phones. And we all care about the planet. And music and stuff. And Orange is very kindly catering for us, by providing a Mobile Wind Charger, so that anyone who spends three days at Worthy Farm in Pilton, Somerset from 22-24 June, can keep their phones topped up while enjoying The Kaiser Chiefs, or whoever, and rolling around in the mud, and queueing for the dreadful toilets.

Developed by professor Shashank Priya at the University of Texas at Arlington, the wind turbine weighs just 150grams, fits in your rucksack and is easily mounted onto a tent. The wind generator's three-phase alternator produces around ½ watt of power, enough to trickle charge a rechargeable battery. This stored power is then ready for a mobile phone to be plugged into the small control box and fully charged within 1-2 hours.

That's fair enough, surely.

Orange said this is another example of how gadgets and technology are "essential in enhancing the festival-going experience". Asked to explain why mobile phones are essential to festival goers, a spokesman said they'd want to: "Share their experiences direct from their phone via social networking sites such as Bebo."

Not exactly rock 'n' roll is it? Are we having a laugh? Or are we enjoying the compelling content and sharing our experiences in a collaborative manner on social networking sites.

Non cynics might like to know that festival-goers at this year's Glastonbury Festival will be asked to sign up to the "I Count" climate change campaign, which encourages people to think about reducing their carbon footprint. The campaign is supported by the Stop Climate Chaos coalition of over 50 organisations, as well as the three main causes supported by Glastonbury - Oxfam, Greenpeace and WaterAid.

Personally, I have a nameless fear about all this. Is it just me? µ