Jinxed computer users curse themselves

BOFFINS at Princeton University have proven that there are some people who should not touch a computer because they are cursed.

Curses are not something that the scientific community has mentioned a lot since the 17th century and have more or less gone the same way as the flat earth theory and people with no heads living in India.

But the Princeton boffins say there is a clear statistical reality to what help desk operator have been saying for years - some computer users are just plain jinxed.

According to Canada.com the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research (PEAR) department has confirmed there are some people who have a natural rapport with computers and there are other people who can tigger* everything even without touching it.

PEAR has tested whether people, through their consciousness alone, can somehow affect the output of various devices.

What they did is set up a computer that produced random outputs when there are no humans around. However the moment there was a hexed person sitting in front of one the machines they managed to create a small, but statistically significant, anomaly.

The researchers have no idea how they do this, the only thing they can think of is that cursed users send out a vibe that breaks the computer.

The vibe theory has been pooh-poohed by the information technology director for the University of Toronto's computer science department. John DiMarco said that the presence of strange anomalies in the hardware can often be attributed to the environment.

He thinks that the cursed people are the same types who live in dry houses, have long hair and wool sweaters and moan that their computer gives them electric shocks. Of course that doesn't explain how the neutral Princeton results were obtained, but it does give an good image of a typically cursed person.

More here. µ

* TO Tigger means to 'break a machine completely as a result of human intervention'. It is named after a Kave personality who can allegedly break a server without being in the same room as it. Which is a bit of a problem for him as his job is to fix them.