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Vista is doomed

Read the signs
Tue Oct 28 2008, 09:11

AS MICROSOFT goes into this week's Professional Developer Conference, it is hard to find anyone keen to talk about Vista. True, it is a developer's forum, so you would expect a fair slice of the talk to focus on Windows 7, but it seems that no one wants to mention the V word, according to Microsoft Watch.

Windows 7 banners are flying and, out of 194 sessions, 22 are dedicated to the next-gen OS and none to Windows Vista.

It is one of the signs of Vista's coming apocalypse and an indication that Microsoft has given up on the operating system.

For those interested in the signs, Microsoft Watch has listed them and we have translated them.

alt='gates_tablets'

For it is written in the book of the Revelation of Ballmer that the blue sky shall be wrapped up like unto a scroll and licenses shall vanish as if they had been taken up.

Before these times Volish executives cheered the take of Vista licences, now now they shall fall strangely silent. And hacks throughout the land shall wonder "where are the Vista licence increases that you promised?" and lo, they shall hear nothing.

And then the horseman of economic ruin shall cast its scythe upon Microsoft's client income. For it shall be known that while the business division and revenue shall be waxing by 20 per cent, the Windows client division only grew by two percent. See this sign and you will know the end days of Vista are near.

And then I saw that netbook sales were waxing strong and then I knew the doom of Vista was written in fate. For Vista worketh not well with netbooks. Vista requireth the resources of a super computer and causeth the weakest spec to cry out against the dark and gnash its teeth and wail. For it is written that a netbook shall only run with Linux or XP Home, lest it turn into an expensive piece of molten plastic in your lap.

And lo, it appeared that Microsoft kneweth its product was pants and attempted to save it with an expensive marketing campaign. Yet its "Windows. Life Without Walls" failed to mention the operating system and it was clear it had not its heart in the campaign.

And an angel did hold a stone before us, upon which was carved a list of other signs of Vista's apocalypse. These included continued OEM sales of XP downgrade licenses and only 10 percent enterprise adoption.

And the angel spake unto me and said: "Vista is so pants, that even Apple's Leopard is considered a viable alternative" and there was much merriment in heaven at this Angel's joke, for no one would be stupid enough to stoop down to that darkly splendid void. µ

L'Inq
Microsoft Watch

 

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