Geldof porn hack upsets guardian of Brit morals

TABLOID JOURNALISTS are fabled for their lack of a sense of irony. How else can we explain the UK's biggest selling daily paper, the self-styled Soaraway Sun, getting its split-crotch knickers in a twist over reports that erstwhile-rocker-turned-saint Sir Bob Geldof's Website has been hacked?

While the Currant Bun's page three features the usual fare of demure young Sunday School pupils whose clothes have mysteriously been mislaid, the news pages scream hysterically about Bob's site having a link to 'a vile hardcore site offering X-rated schoolgirl filth' containing 'some of the most disgusting images I've ever seen.'

The ever-vigilant guardian of British morals contacted Geldof's people and warned them of the 'sickening' and 'beyond belief' images which are obviously far worse than any of the premium rate chat lines and adult sites advertised in, err, the Sun's classified section.

"There are some sick people out there," reports the paper.

There certainly are, and nearly all of them read the Sun. µ

Inq Tabloid Factoid
The Sun's Website is claimed to be the most popular in the UK. Well, no it isn't, actually. Visitors to the paper's home page clicking on one of the stories will find themselves redirected to another page that looks almost identical. They then have to click on the story again before they actually get to the world exclusive on some soap star that nobody's ever heard of. So that's an easy way of doubling your unique page views then.

The Sun can get away with this because its readers are too stupid to notice. You can always tell a Sun reader - they're the ones who can't read without their lips moving. And that's just the bright ones - the others just look at the pictures.

Soaraway L'Inq
Currant Bun