Enjoy the Oscars with award-winning coffee

I KNOW we're not renowned for our sensitivity regarding PR bunnies, but this hot and steamy release just landed in our quivering laps. The phrase 'moist with excitement' hardly does justice - or even approaches to within 27 parsecs of - our quivering and priapic expectation.

Ready?

"This Sunday, (24th February), enjoy the unparalled (sic) glitz and glamour of the foremost award ceremony the year - the 80th Academy Awards. Stay up with multi- award winning Percol Fairtrade and organic coffee and absorb the red carpet experience live from the Hollywood's Kodak Theatre.

Percol swept the board at the food version of the Oscars, The Great Taste Awards, taking 5 gold awards. Here are Percol's predictions for Sunday:

• Best actor - Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd
• Best film - Atonement
• Best actress - Julie Christie for Away From Her
• Best Ground Coffee - Percol Fairtrade Colombia ground for deep, rich brown flavours in abundance. (strength 3) RRP 250g at £2.59 - £2.89 from all good supermarkets
• Best Instant Coffee - Percol Colombia Instant for delicate smokey notes fused with aromatic spices and chocolate can be detected in the taste and aroma. (strength 3) RRP 100g at £2.69 - £2.99 from all good supermarkets

Brian Chapman, Founder, Food Brands Group said; "We wish all the nominees the best of luck! Being recognised for excellence in your achievements is the greatest accolade anyone can receive."

Sheesh kebab. Now let's hear from anyone who still claims being a hack is an easy life. µ