Never mind the A.I., where's the I?

THESE LAST couple of weeks have seen me delve into places on the Internet I never thought I would find myself - fan forums.

Now don't get me wrong, I love chat forums on the whole. We have a very nice VBB job over at bit-tech, and there is a hell of a lot of constructive work that goes on, as well as the odd amount of inane chat. However - and this is a big however - everyone is pretty reasonable. We have a great moderating team that keeps everyone in line, and we drill into people that they should really think before they post.

But with the whole furore over the Half-Life 2 source leak, I've spent some time researching the whole issue, and have consequently spent quite a lot of time reading gaming boards.

And I've come to a realisation - everyone complains that AI in games needs improving. But why?? It is clear, from my forum dwellings, that half the people that buy these games are complete idiots in the first place, and any increase in AI would completely flummox them!

And I don't just make these claims without substance. How about a few choice quotes?

Re : The initial source code leak
"I kneel before [Gabe Newell] our commander"
"Genocide...yes genocide will work".
"i think im gonna be sick, so does this effect the game in anyway, i mean, should we worry?"
"Sorry to hear about this gabe, i think it totally sucks. I hope that whoever did this will burn in hell with there testicles on rusty lemon covered spikes!"

And my personal favourite,
"I never experianced anything like this...this is something i gonna tell my kids about in the future."

Oh [i]come on[/i]. September the 11th? Princess Di? Nah. HL2 source leak? Damn, I remember where I was then!

You want a few more? Yeah, you know you do...

Most 'Cliched American understanding nothing outside of his own borders post' :

"Does Denmark have like, laws or anything? Or are they a bunch of nomadic tribesmen?"

"persoanlly, i dont think valve can really do anything if the hacker is over in Denmark. I hate to say it but, valve cant do shit, unless a miracle happens"

I guess no one else knows anything about copyright law then.

Bizzarre post of the month :
"just want to say to the poster: you formatted your post very well, nice job."

Most twisted way of looking at the world :
"As far as I'm concerned Valve just did another amazing thing for the game community and sacrificed themselves...they made every other game developer/ game lover realize how important it is to keep your intellectual properties secure ! They have changed the face of gaming once again !!! God bless' em !"

And Award for Quote Most Likely to Sum Up My Feelings :
"hehe i know, i sould relax, but some guys are dumber that the AI in the game"

Amen. I mean, don't these kids have homework to do? Don't they learn English at school? Honestly, if I was Valve, I'd just slap a 21+ rating on HL2 just so I knew that it wouldn't be played by a bunch of complete maroons.

Now, dont get me wrong. I understand that kids need to use the internet. I also understand that kids aren't perhaps the best at expressing themselves, and are prone to rise to baiting. But when you get Gabe Newell going in there and posting and pandering to these guys...well, the guys got spirit, I'll give him that.

So my proposal is this : when I was at school, we were given compulsory classes on IT, learning things like spreadsheets, word processing etc. Can we please have a compulsory class on how to use forums and, (prepare for a shock) how to use chat rooms responsibly? (Cue Daily Mail brigade - "Being taught to use chat rooms??! In school??! *mutter mutter*taxes*mutter*) Someone needs to teach these kids how to behave, because peer pressure certainly ain't doing it. And, on a more serious note, the spate of child abductions in the UK that have sprung from net chat rooms seems to have done little to get parents to educate their kits, so much as ban them flat out (which, as we all know, is completely counter-productive when it comes to teenagers).

I'll leave you with my Quote Most Likely To Win Award For Use Of Irony :
"And don't giv me all that crap about "If i ever catch those darn hackers, ill burn them in hell. Weee" that's jsut gay, u have no idea why they even hacked it.
And all this "I'm on your side, gabe!" its gay, cuz u havent even looked at what the other side has to say, havent you been told that in skool?"

*snicker*. µ