German boffin turns cats into fuel

A GERMAN BOFFIN claims he has invented a process to convert dead cats into diesel fuel using a catalytic converter.

Animal lovers will be delighted to know that the cats are definitely dead as the process involves heating them to a temperature of 300 degrees.

Doctor Koch says it takes a whisker under 20 cats to fill the tank of his car which has purred along for more than 100,000 miles on the stuff, costing just 15p a litre. Each happy cat* only produces 2.5 litres of diesel, but due to them having nine lives this can be increased to an impressive 22.5 litres. µ

* INQblot Felis is Latin for cat.

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