Those Poor Tech Transfer Commandments in full

ATTENDEES AT the High Performance Computer Architecture (HPCA-10) conference in Madrid, Spain, today celebrated the last day of their ordeal, having being dragged out of their hotels before breakfast and kept alive on coffee for 12+-hour days and 12+ hour nights since last Saturday.

Some of them were just getting used to their jet lags. Professor Yale Patt was to chair the morning's keynote session but celebrated the occasion by getting some well-deserved rest instead.

Computer architecture icon Mark Hill also skipped the day, citing personal priorities and common sense. He did, however, see our previous article on the conference and kindly provided us with a full copy of his 10 Commandments for Poor Technology Transfer.

So here's the lettering on those silicon tables that were brought down from that Hill.

I Always work 30 years in the future - That way no one can prove you wrong before retirement

II Always start with a clean slate - Why be encumbered by past successes?

III Remember that published papers are the end of research (and technology transfer) - If people don't have time to read your papers, their loss

IV Always remember that you are smarter than people in the industry - You balance research with teaching a few classes, while they only make systems with multi-million-transistor chips

V Never give talks to the industry - They might make you wear a badge

VI Never hold industrial affiliates meetings or get feedback from industry on your research agenda - Industrial people know little about real computer architecture

VII Never allow your students to do internships in industry (or, even worse, take a sabbatical there) - Industrial people might get to know your students and corrupt them, or corrupt you!

VIII Never consult for industry - One might spend time on problems people care about.

IX Protect your intellectual property by not telling the industry or anyone else what you are doing until patents are filed - Lawyers are more fun than your computer architecture colleagues.

X When meeting industrial people, just ask for money and don't waste time building long-term relationships - Relationahips are for people in the humanities.

The original is also available at this address.

Finally, a note to the anonymous vandals who plastered hardcopies of our article on the walls at the conference: thank you for the publicity. You scratch our backs, we scratch yours.