Intel, AMD have battle over F1 cars, Gibson guitars

A WHILE AGO WE bitched about PR spats, and how childish they looked to the observers. Well, the spats at WinHEC broke out into a full fledged war. This was more of a 'he crossed my line of death, so I'll have to nuke is capital' war rather than troops massing on the border for months of bloody combat.

To set the stage, a few weeks ago at the AMD dual core launch, they had a real rock band, and Hector got up on stage and played guitar. I thought it was just a fun thing for him to do, but no, it couldn't end there. At WinHEC, Intel came out with their own rock band, see?

Hector played a Gibson, Intel had to have Gibsons, this is truly scorched earth stuff here.

Touche, riposte, and all those other things the master thespian D. Duck would say when playing the Scarlett Pumpernickel. Let's not let sleeping dogs lie, so Intel brought out the heavy guns, an F1 car.

So, there was Intel on day one with an F1 car, and AMD without one! Aaaargh, a breach in the front lines, hide the women and children. In a move sure to make Fedex stockholders happy, up popped an AMD F1 car the next day. Ha! Take that.

On and one it went, no misdeed left unanswered. No cheap stunt let sit. This is PR war. Bill gates would probably have laughed if he cared about such things, but I am sure he was to busy snuggling with Bono on a bed of money to dabble in the affairs of mortals.

So, what is the final score in Inq arbitrary units? Well, AMD had a rock band, so they get 5 points. Intel did also, so they get 5. Neither had anything to do with hip-hop, so they get another 15 each, tying it at 20. AMD had their CEO playing guitar in a competent fashion, so they get 7 more. Intel had the good sense not to put their CEO up on stage attempting to play guitar, so they get 6. Had he tried to play guitar on a horse, that would have scored major points, maybe at the next IDF.

With the score at 27-26 in favor of AMD, Intel did the old fashion bread and circus thing and gave away gifts, aka bribery. Guitar picks are not worth much money, so they get a measly 1 point for the effort, embossed or not. Holograms may have added another point, but they didn't go the extra mile. 27-27.

So, neck and neck into the finish. Intel had the race car out first, so they get 19 points. AMD pulled an F1 car out of thin air on demand, so they get 20, I mean, could YOU do that? A quick check of the F1 standings shows the Intel sponsored Toyota team with 27 points, absolutely stomping the AMD sponsored Ferrari team with 18 points after 4 races. That means 27 arbitrary points to Intel, 18 for AMD, 73 to 65.

The problem is that Toyota is Toyota, and Ferrari is Ferrari. Which would you rather be seen in, econobox central or a gold-chain set penile extension? Is your image safe or stud god? Yes, that nets AMD 5 points right there. The Ferrari is also red, a particular shade of red named Ferrari red in the mother of all coincidences. +2 AMD. 73 to 72 Intel.

But it is not all over yet. There is the fact that neither side bribed me with a ride. Even though I wasn't there, I will absolutely hold it against them, and hold a grudge until something shiny dist.....oooh, neat. -124 for both. Another -9 because it is Sunday, and people race on Sundays.

So, the final score for this PR scuffle is -60 Intel, -61 AMD, Intel takes the win by a nose cone. On the final 1 to 10 scale, where 1 is absolute rock bottom, Inq level journalism, and 10 is that party that you went to in college where that thing happened that all your friends don't believe, both sides don't score withing 50 points of rock bottom. Since no large checks were found in my mail, no Inq BlaqMarq seals will be awarded for this WinHEC, stay tuned for next year if someone invites us. µ