Mobile phones go to the dogs

HUMANITY'S OBSESSION with pets has just gone barking with Canadian dog owners giving their best friend a mobile phone to bark down.

According to a press release, the marketing people at PetsCell identified a need among consumers to talk to their dog when it was normally impossible.

The phone is clipped to the dog's collar in a paw free operation. The call is automatically answered, and you can speak at will to your pet.

They can of course tell you... um... well nothing really, because the people at PetsCell, and we assume their customers have forgotten that dogs can't talk.

If they could, they could ring you and tell you that there is a child stuck down a disused mine shaft, or their water bowl was empty and they will have to drink out of the toilet.

In fact the only thing that is remotely useful about giving your dog a cell phone is that if the dog strays, someone can press the button on the collar and it will call you. The phone works for cats too, but they would never talk to the likes of you and would just put you on hold. µ