Flash ads bring razzle dazzle to crazy computer cashiers' empty existences

WE ALL KNOW how much easier computers have made our life. I mean instead of spending time with our families we can spend an evening installing the latest iteration of Winders. And the next night attempting to recover all the files you last from that effort, and the following night re-building what files you can. And so on.

Anyways, technology has enabled us to spend more money in a shorter time than in any other period in our history. I mean where else can you plop down the price of a decent used car on a device to send messages to your friends in a text based format. I mean only a hundred years ago Edison allowed us to talk to anyone in the world over copper wires, and then some dingbat even removed the wires. But for a cool $1000 you can send a text message like "Did you get my message, how's the folks" or "Buy Viagra now!!!!!!" or even "want better sex more often?" I mean who can say no to that?

Anyways, I'm digressing. But the root of this article was when I went to spend all this money on my little children; the 5 computers that I use to check my e-mail, and play solitaire. I head down to the local outlet for one of them big national chains selling computers and their bits and bobs. Ever noticed how in these stores if you want to plunk down $5,000 on the latest slim line Vaio you get all the help you want. But if you're browsing $300 video cards there isn't even a sales person in view. I was shopping for bits and bobs. At one point, I did glance at the clearance laptop rack, where I could buy year old technology for $350 more than a brand new system (that is not a joke) and I did get a salesman pulling me towards a brand new $1000 plasma screen. After beating him senseless, I ran back to the viddie card section and then meandered over to the hard drives and cases.

After wandering the store and not finding the male/male VGA adapter I originally came in for, I wandered over to the checkout counter with a few hundred dollars of printer cartridges and trackballs. Along with a gold plated power supply. I still can't believe I actually bought that. And I slithered up to the cash register.

At this point it is important that I describe the check out stand. A typical white counter with that credit card killing magnet at one end. A small green six line display for the customer to see the $$$ signs adding up, and a 17-inch monitor for the cashier to go through the intricate menus it takes them to ring up your items. Remember when the cashier typed in $19.95 for an item that cost $19.95? Now they run the scanner over it 15 times in attempt to get it to read. Then when it won't they type in the SKU number, 657kl4890hfl567, which invariably rings it up as $4,999.50 - that's no lie it's what happened to me on this trip. That means dragging over the other cashier who spend ten minutes typing in Pi to 35 decimal places, finally spitting out the proper price of $19.95.

While all this key typing was going on, I of course glanced at the 17-inch monitor the cashier was using, to see if I could figure out if he was downloading my credit history or something. So this CRT display was at approximately 1024x768 resolution. However, only half the screen was devoted to the adding numbers bit, using a rather garish pink and blue display box that could easily have been displayed on a 640x480 monitor with huge buttons measured in inches. On the other half of the screen something else was going on.

You're not going to believe this.

On the cashier's screen was a series of repeating flash animations showing the cashier, and the cashier only, unless you twisted your head around as I did, when you could see advertisements for things currently on sale. Effectively, they were spamming the cashier with a huge ad banner that took up half the screen.

Now it's bad enough to have to work for a living, especially at marginally above minimum wage, but to have your employer spam you with adverts all day long is just cruel. The only possible reasoning I can see is that the cashier could say to you "Do you know we have 30GB hard drives on sale for $199?"

"That 7500 rpm or 10k?"
"75 what?"
"7500 rpm?"
"No these are ATAPI."
"Yeah whatever, just ring up my box of diskettes will ya."

But considering the standard retail tactic of stationing one cashier for every 300 customers, this guy was way busier than a single spindle hard drive in a defragging contest, he didn't have anytime to try to sell me anything. And besides, when was the last time you left the register to go back and get something else. I mean you've resisted the temptation to buy that snazzy credit card sized MP3 player, and the gold plated power supply (or not) and worked to the cashier with those things you can rationalize to your self you needed (or not), it's all you can do not to drop everything on the floor and run out because you know you're spending way more money than you should.

They could tell you they have a special on red-headed Swedish women, buy one get one free, and you would say no because if you spend five more minutes in this place your going to have a 42 inch high def monitor and a 3 giggelhurtz boxen with wireless keyboard, mouse, and chair. The cashier knows what state you're in, because his fingers are broken from punching in all those SKU numbers and is in about the same mental state, so doesn't even ask.

Alls I know is that if I had to stare at a half screen flash animation of anything for eight hours a day there would be a special on 30 GB previously rectally inserted hard drives going on sale tomorrow. µ

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