Tory leader, Cameron wades in on web pirates

"Copyright theft," he told an enraptured audience at the BPI, "has to be treated like other theft." And the Tories, once they swept to power, would root out thievery wherever it took place.

Meanwhile, for a possible couple of generations or so, Cam-man pledged to "get the message out that piracy and illegal filesharing is wrong".

Assembled music industry fat cats at the Mayfair Hotel were jubilant. Some were thought to moving to stand to applaud, but it turned out they were off into the rain for a cigar.

Cameron awoke today warming to his theme, having been feted all evening by the music industry. His head throbbing, he began asking himself questions.

"Is some music, are some lyrics, are some videos and are some artists, helping to create a culture in which an anti-learning culture, truancy, knives, violence, guns, misogyny are glorified?"

Yes," he told himself

"Can we see the effects of this on our young people, in our schools and on our streets?

Why, "Yes," said Cameron, getting into the swing of things. µ