Compaq-Microsoft enterprise programm full of holes

THE ISSG X86 server group has presented its plans to use Windows in the datacentre, but moles at the outfit tell the INQUIRER that there's more holes in the programme than in a lump of Emmenthal.

Compaq's ISSG group has put together a Proliant Data Centre cunning "solution" - which evaporates when exposed to the strong rays of daylight.

It is centred on the Proliant DL760, which includes W2K Datacenter OS and is certified with "kernel touching" software, certified for Storagework and supports Win apps like Oracle, SAP, Lotus, Dr Midnight's SAS and other "emission critical" programs.

What the Q is hoping to do is to go along to corporations and say we can do everything for your data centre, based on our lovely lovely Proliants.

The DL760 it is supplying is a 4P, 4GB unit based on the 700MHz Xeon "Cashcades" microprocessor. This is probably because the 900MHz Xeon chip has only just started shipping after an eight month glitch at the Intel Corp. Compaq also wants to bundle four 18.2GB drives, a remote insight board, an eight way W2K Datacenter licence, and some other bits and bobs as the basis of a corporate system that won't fall over.

Of course, there are loads of options that Q wants you to buy that you can add on to this rather basic system.

Windows 2000, heralds Compaq, "is the OS for business solutions that demand the highest degree of scaleability", showing that it agrees with Intel on the right OS for a large corporation.

Compaq claims that in a survey, it was voted the best support for apps like Citrix, DB2, JDE, Lotus, Midnight-SAS, SAP and the like.

Data Centre Services Compaq is offering - 24 times seven of course - are on hardware, W2K Datacenter OS, support coordination with the ISV, app support for SQL 2000, SQL 7 SP2, Exchange 5.5, Microsoft Host Integration Server 2000, two and four hour hardware response, 30 minute response when your software goes belly up and a joint Microsoft and Compaq support tem.

You also get a "named technical account manager" with "proactive support" and "monthly reviews". He will be called Michael Capellas. (We made the last sentence up).

You can pay more for the "Gold" plan which will cost you $15,000 for a single node, $27,000 for a two node cluster, and $59,000 for a 4-node cluster, although we're sure these prices are negotiable.

And there's a guarantee of 99.99% uptime, which Compaq defines as 50 minutes, compared to 99.8 which is eight hours and 99.999% which is five minutes. This guarantee covers hardware and operating system.

Customers its won include freemarkets.com, "a European stock exchange", a "financial services firm", and the "Scottish University for Industry LtD". Oh, and MSNBC.COM, which Compaq thinks is the number one online news source.

Now, how does this compare to Compaq's other "emission critical" products. We asked Houston Hannah for her opinion.

She said there are loopholes in the guaranteed uptime (GUT) programme, and the costs are pretty high. She quipped: "With costs this dear, customers would be better off running a REAL datacenter OS. Like Tru64 or VMS or NSK! And sure, we can give you five--or even six--nines on Windows 2000 Datacenter. The only problem is that there are many more nines to the right of the decimal point than to the left."

She's going to lose her job if the Thought Police ever find out what her real identity is.

We asked Compaq for a comment. But as Compaq isn't talking to us, that was a waste of time. µ