INQ offers full disclosure

EAGLE-EYED readers, as well as pretty average ones and even those tending towards the somnolent, will have noted that there has been much torment in the blogosphere over Microsoft's giving away of Vista-based freebie laptops to key bloggers.

This cunning stratagem has led to one blogger auctioning off his gift Acer Ferrari for charity and others insisting that they consider the matter fine and above board.

However, the general brouhaha and moral mulligatawny has prompted an ethical rethink here at the Inquirer and for this reason, in a spirit of full disclosure and end-of-year purgative, your correspondent hereby offers up for consideration his list of gifts shamefully received from technology vendors over the years in order to buy our royal favour.

Such has been the volume of sweeteners, jollies, trinkets, knick-knacks and tchotchkes received that this list will be at best selective but this is in the nature of such matters, we fear.

So here we go:

Item: Hundreds of T-shirts and polo shirts, mostly with unsubtle branding prominently featuring company logos, images of disk drives, graphics cards, semiconductors, computers, wires and the like.

Current status of gifts: Some worn as vests but most disposed of to spods who think little of their personal appearances.

Donated by: Western Digital, Dell, IBM, Corel, Microsoft, Intel, AMD (‘the fastest 386 processor in the world'), Borland and you-name-them others.

Item: A denim jacket in the style enjoyed by German heavy-metal fans of the 1980s with thick company logo embroidery where Black Sabbath/Uriah Heep/Scorpions branding would usually occur.

Current status: Rejected. Location not known.

Donated by: Netscape.

Item: At least a dozen clocks, including an Intel model capable of projecting time and date but which failed to work outside the US. Pyramid shapes with rotating dials are particularly popular. Also, Intel and IBM OS/2 wristwatches with paper logo beneath hands.

Donated by: Elonex, Everex, Intel, IBM etc.

Item: About 50 USB memory sticks, often stuffed with press pack data and branded by Intel, Nuance, BMC Software etc.

Status: Used or employed as gifts in holiday season and birthdays.

Donated by: As above.

Item: About 200 rucksacks, frequently depicting multiple logos of conference sponsors and including novelty pens.

Status: Left in sundry hotel rooms, given to porters and charitable institutions, confused with bags owned by other delegates or members of press.

Donated by: Aww, come on now.

Item: Vista-based laptop

Status: Not yet received. Please contact at The Inquirer, One New Grub Street, London's Red and Tranquil Labyrinth.

Donated by: Microsoft (we hope). µ