Texting is killing comedy, claims comic

BRITISH comedian Stan Boardman says text messaging is ruining his act.

The scouser, whose main claim to fame is telling an Asian heckler "Why don't you go back to your curry house or shop in Bradford? Your elephant's waiting outside," complained to comedy magazine Chortle that his act is being threatened by members of the audience texting his jokes to their mates.

"I can tell a new joke on stage one night and get a huge laugh," whines Stan, "But all it takes is for someone in the audience to text it to their mates and it spreads so quickly that the very next night you only get a little ripple."

He adds: "In the early days, a lot of comedians travelled round the country using the same act for months on end. Now I have to change my act on a daily basis, literally."

Poor Stan.

But, of course, many mobile phones can now take photographs. Perhaps Stan's audience is dwindling because folk are being bombarded by pictures of the man's nether parts.

In Stan's honour we here at the INQ propose to regurgitate today's news every day for at least month. µ

L'Inq
Chortle