Itanium 2, Xeon, Zapata, Mageek found in one package

At the Intel Developer Forum (IDF) last week, a man gave us a package which combines the Itanium 2 and the Xeon. But when you open it up, rather than find the brains of a computer, it's full of mints.

The processing power of mints is legendary. They freshen your breath, are an acceptable substitute for smoking when you are on a transatlantic fright, and you can offer them around, so helping you make new friends.

Right: Alfs, Left: Mageek

But in an alarming turn of events, something far more sinister transpired at IDF last week. The spintronics division at the Intel Corporation has discovered that, if you put old pictures of George Alfs and Mike Mageek together, they form an analogue brain with startling "70s Power".

Right: Itanium 2, Left: Xeon