How Convergys understands US Compaq customers

AN EMPLOYEE OF CONVERGYS who formerly too Compaq calls writes to claim that this is from the HP training "agent desktop", "How to speak to Americans". True or not, all three parts are pretty funny. We noticed the first part was also filed on Bad Dosage, here.

See also Convergys offers dietary, cultural advice to its staff µ

American Slang	Meaning
Actions speak louder than words	What you do (your actions mean more than just saying words)
Afraid not, afraid so	Meant to sound apologetic when giving news. Ex: "Are you telling me my hard drive needs to be replaced? I am afraid so". Or "Will you send me a new computer?" "I am afraid not, we can fix your computer today
All right	To agree with someone
Antsy	Restless, impatient
All thumbs	Clumsy, awkward
As a rule	Normally
At the end of my rope	Frustrated, disgusted
All that and a bag of chips	Describes someone who thinks they are very good looking or very smart
Ace	To "ace" something is to do very well. Ex: To ace a test is to receive 100 percent
Ages, for ages, in ages	For a long time. Ex: I have been using Windows XP for ages
Awesome	That is great, good news
Beat my brains out	Try very hard to do something. Ex: I beat my brains out trying to reinstall the printer drivers
Beans	A small amount as "I know beans about computers". Money, as in "I work for beans"
Black and White	Clearly distinct or different as in "as different as black and white" or obvious and clear, as in "there it is in black and white"
Bogus	Nonfunctional, incorrect, not true, not good. Ex: This machine is bogus
the Bomb	Excellent, out of this world. An expression of pleasure
Brand Spanking New	New and unused
Brute Force	With strength or excessive force
Bugging Me	Said when something annoys you or is puzzling to you. Ex: It is bugging me that I cannot find the error in this program code, or it bugs me when my file is so big that it takes too long to open
Bummer	That is too bad, sorry to hear it
Bushed	Tired
Call it a day	Stop working for the day
Chill out	Calm down, take it easy
Can you walk me through this	Give me step-by-step instructions
a Cinch	Easy to do
a Clean bill of health	Someone or something is back in working order
Cool beans	Awesome, or meant to indicate agreement
Cough up the hair balls	Clear something out to make it work smoothly
Crap	An expression meaning "nonsense" or something of no value
Cutting the unit off or on	Means to turn the power of the unit off or on
Don't count your chickens before they hatch	Don't assume something will happen until it has happened
Drive me crazy (nuts)	When something is annoying, you might say it drives you crazy or drives you nuts. Ex: It drives me crazy when my system freezes up
Dude	A generic term for buddy, fellow, guy or girl
Easy as pie	Very simple
Freebie	Has no cost
Good to go	All set, in order, ready to go
Geek	Describes a person who loves to spend time with technology
Glitch	A minor problem
Goof up	Make a mistake
Gotta Check	Take a look at
I appreciate it	You are happy that someone did something for you
Lemon	Something that is unsatisfactory, defective or continuously malfunctions
Moves like molasses	Very slowly
Neophyte	One who is just starting to learn or do something, beginner
Nonchalant	Casual, non-hurried
On the same wavelength	Sharing a common understanding; thinking the same thing as another person
Once in a blue moon	Occasionally. Ex: Once in a blue moon my printer will print characters that make no sense
Play through the nose	To pay a very high price
Play it by ear	Not knowing what to expect and deciding what to do as you go along. Ex: We have gone through all the documented troubleshooting steps. Now we may just play it by ear
Screwed up	Not functioning properly
Shoot	An expression of frustration if something does not work or does not go the right way
Six of one, half-dozen of the other	Said when two things result in the same action and either one is appropriate. Ex: "Would you like me to send you the file through email or mail you a disk? You may reply, "I don't care, it's six of one, half dozen of the other"
Smart Aleck	Someone who is self-assertive, arrogant
Snap	Easy to do
So-So	Average, fair, not particularly good
Sooner or later	Eventually
Tight	Great. The best
Thanks a bunch or Thanks bunches	Meant to express gratitude. A very exuberant thank you
Whatever	Said to indicate an indifference or that you don't care strongly about something. Ex: "Would you like me to give you that URL? Whatever
Yadda, yadda, yadda	Often used to make a long story short, thus leaving out many of the details. Ex: "I went to restart the computer, I clicked on start, yadda yadda yadda, and then it would not boot-up"