Jobs Iphone loses out to trained Potters

THE DWEEB with the lightning bolt scar on his forehead has been flogging the latest US technology fetishists hands down. Just consider the many ways Harry Potter and his massive cult of worshippers cult is beating the iPhone and the latest Michael Bay movie.

Distribution
"Harry Potter & The Deathly Hollows" Amazon.com pre-order, 1.3 million copies. First 24 hours of sales in the US 8.3 million copies out of a first run of 12 million copies sold. The Independent on Sunday estimated sales of 20 million copies around the globe on the first day.

There were estimates of up to 700,000 iPhones peddled on the first 48 hours of availability. The actual figures are to be announced on Wednesday, July 25, as a part of Apple's quarterly results. Web site activation problems allegedly affect two percent of purchasers, according to some reports. Wall Street estimates for sales by end of 2007 range from 2 million to 5.3 million.

Winner: Harry Potter
Secrets
“Harry Potter” - At least 1,200 copies of the “The Deathly Hollows” ended up shipping early. Two newspapers published reviews ahead of the release date and the Interweb is flooded with spoilers. Author JK Rowling appeals to Potterites to help preserve the secrecy of the plot.

AT&T training manual describing iPhone features appears on Interweb two weeks before the Iphone made its official sales debut. Within hours of the Iphone going on sale, multiple tech websites jockey to see who can take apart their $600 phones the fastest without breaking them. Part count known within hours, basic software load dissected within days.

Winner: Harry Potter

Making people wait in line for
arbitrary deadline to build hype
Hundreds of people lined up in front of AT&T and Apple stores to buy phones at 6PM on a Friday. Savvy politicians had their aides either line-sit or jump the line for them.

Tens of thousands of people the globe sat around until 12:01 AM to get their copies. Bookstores in the UK and US stay open all night to sell copies. Other throngs line up

Winner: Harry Potter

Cult following
Tribute bands line up for Harry Potter parties, fans dress up as their favourite characters, people bring their children to share the experience of waiting until midnight to get a bunch of paper that doesn't need batteries, while tons of fan fiction float about on the Interweb.

Nobody would dress up as Steve Jobs except by accident, Iphone owners wouldn't share their precious device with the mum or their children. Gobs of fan fiction e-mails expected in response to this piece. The Fake Steve Jobs web site has a better cult following.

Winner - Harry Potter. Unlikely Iphone will have a single tribute band outside of Silicon Valley.

Potential for Revisions
“Harry Potter” is the last of the series and the Final Work said the author. Likely to be reprinted, but not upgraded for decades to come.

The Iphone's estimated lifetime is 12-18 months, when the battery will finally die. Poor geeks have to buy or upgrade to a new one. Likely to be a “new and improved” version every 12-18 months. Not sold outside of the States. Can't officially pop the GSM card out for independent roaming. Demands for faster data networking, GPS support, better battery.

Winner - the Iphone.

Net worth - JK Rowling versus Steve Jobs
JK Rowling estimated to be worth $1 billion, making her richer than The Queen. [You sure about this? Ed.]

Steve Jobs - $5.7 billion.

Winner - Jobs, but Rowling looks better.

Movies: “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”
versus “Transformers” As of July 20-22, “Phoenix” had brought in $207.5 million on a two week run.

“Transformers” has been running for three weeks and has brought in $263 million.

On total revenues, “Transformers” leads, but “Phoenix” is playing at more theatres in the States (4285 vs. 3762) and is bringing in more average revenue per theatre ($7,511 vs. $5,450).

Winner: “Phoenix,” despite the bigger grossing “Transformers.” The big screen Robo-movie will continue to lose ground as Potterists go to see “Phoenix” multiple times. µ