Ancient Geek device "couldn't calculate properly"

COMPUTER ARCHAEOLOGISTS have discovered a complex but very ancient Geek device which looked like it should calculate properly, but ended up being used as a car key.

The geek device, the so-called "Pentium Intellus" or "FDIV" in Roman characters, was discovered to have a mistake despite having the ability to display "characters" on something the Ancient Geeks called, in numbers, "VDU".

But the imperator of Intellus Maximus was forced to pay gazillions of denarii to customers, up in arms and incandescent with rage at its calculating deficiences. That happened in MCMXCIV. The problem forced Intellus Maximus to defray the costs by turning the ingenious device into a so-called "key ring", years before so-called "DRM keys" were discovered which culminated in MMIV with Intellus VIIV.

The rest is history. Which is bunkum. µ