Hermit's Cave Roundup

FNG Rollcall
LOCKEDA [That's me, Ed. Stoopid Delphi decided to lock me out of own forum.] , GOALIO, PINAWELLA, ADAMNAYLOR

Top Timewasters
THEFLASHMAN, GOTHICTIGGER, MAGRIGGS, SIDVISCOUS, TCB500, SKAFFMAN, BOB_DINOSAUR, FRNHT451, KILLER_AP, SDMAHANEY Poll Roundup
Is Wendy Grossman Wavegirl? 17 ‘wibbles', 3 ‘yes', 1 ‘no'. W[endy?]avegirl hasn't visited since December, so it's kinda immaterial now anyway - whoever she is, she got bored of lollygagging geeks. And who can blame her?

Enterprise
Shameless public discussion of a Star Trek by-product? Have we really come to this? Obviously Skaffman has, at any rate. Thankfully the topic soon veered back on the straight and narrow when leering at nekkid (alien) wimmins took over by Post 4, albeit triggered by the usually-restrained SGF2 demanding nekkid alien men to leer at. These Unix types should be firewalled for their own protection, they really should.

Anti-terrorist stuff
More of the same - the unswerving arguing the unwinnable. It got so bad that in 'Lies, damned lies and statistics' TAMEALIEN announced he was going on holiday to Avignon for a Festival of Mimes or something, probably to check that they're conforming to EU standards of irritatingness..

Seti Team
Complaints about Seti being down - obviously the aliens from the back of the cave have been gnawing on the kat5 again. This thread, like many others this week, decomposed into geekery - you're all lucky that Sid isn't writing the summary this time, or there'd be some whuppings dished out and no mistake.

Forum Hosting
The Thread That Would Not Die still won't flush into the usual entropic off-topic wibbling, mostly due to the efforts of Mr G (for it is he), who is still very anxious for everyone to write a new forum. Some off-topicness was introduced when G and Kenny started discussing their vastly bloated pay packets but The Dinosaur swung things back to forum hosting in the end, seeming alarmingly keen to get the ball rolling, the show on the road and the wagons hitched. It ain't proper, see - we come here to escape work and end up working harder here than at work. Strange portents indeed.

This thread sank deep into reeking pits of depravity when Mr G (who else?) raised his slippery nipples - apparently it's some fancy drink down in London where they like that sort of thing, and as long as it doesn't frighten the horses I'm prepared to leave them to it as I've got a bottle of organic vodka chilling in the freezer and am in an expansive mood.

SOTD
You can tell how much work this lot do by the links they post here - these are the dead flies caught in the web, but a lot of them are damn funny.

Official Inq 1st birthday party and London
The Inq is one year old this week - it's mostly potty-trained, but apparently hasn't been weaned off that intoxicating amber 'journo milk' yet. As any OOFG-oriented conversation will, this became a discussion of how to get to various London pubs, accompanied by the usual splatter of links to assorted street map sites and rumours that the Lovely, Illusionary Lucy might turn up.

Badgerboy was most in need of geographical help and he then started the London thread, asking about what he might find to do whilst in London before the celebrations began. As Dr Spinola might say, 'A man who is bored of London has run out of drinking money' so there were plenty of suggestions, most of them clean, for what this unworldly and wide-eyed country bumpkin could do whilst in the big city.

Has anyone else seen the episode of Black Books where Manny runs away? Yeah, that came to mind. Apparently that maudlin mob from NTK were invited, so the Coach and Horses was looking forward to the Battle of the Geek Cliques. Who'd win that one? We have Jeff and Sid on our side, one providing spiritual sustenance and the other heavy firepower, so my bets are on us despite the Wedundant Wiredies' withering sarcasm and ability to make YACC jokes.

One for Sid
Talk of trucks, hummers and the women who drive them - we haven't had a good truck discussion for a while, so this was a nice change from nekkid aliens and rampant geekery (or should that be rampant aliens and nekkid geekery? God, I hope not.).

Online games
Are these people trying to get a bad name? The only thing worse than Dungeons and Dragons is D&D humour - we need to be tough on RPGs, tough on the causes of RPGs and this sort of thing doesn't help. There were a couple of snipes at Josh's new job, to go with the others that have been popping up all over the forum. That's nothing compared to the sniping that'll happen once cyclists ‘come in season' as SDMAHANEY puts it… Some Goon-quoting finished this thread off on a suitably gibbering note.

More outlook crap
The geekery never stops, although this one had been started and supported by the arch-antigeek himself, Sid - oh, how the shirty are fallen. He even ponders setting up a Linux box to handle his mail…embrace it, Sid. You'll love it. It's a way of life (one grep and he'll soon be in our grasp)

Fame At Last
Promethea's fame is spreading beyond these parts - last week he was even linked to in NTK, I should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky. Discussion of drinking habits at OOFGs (fast and jealously guarded would be my guess), and Frnht pointing out Mad Mike Mageek's somewhat la-de-dah supping style. Well, he is the leader - what do you expect him to do, strain boot polish through a sock? It turned out not to be MMM's pinkie in the frame after all, so the mantle of poshness falls onto Rotoplooker's aristocratic shoulders.

CeBit PR awards - fix !!
Only a couple of people understood this one at first - it seemed to involve phones though. It turned out that the Inq had been winkling away at the crusty bivalve of hi-tech in an attempt to uncover the snottish mollusc of truth, and this was actually being discussed on the forum by industry leaders! Shame on you, shame on you all. It ended up with rabbit puns, as these things often do - so all was not lost.

TFT Monitors
Mr G is looking to blow some of his ill-gotten gains on a flat screen to go with his new flat (ha! Geddit? Flat?) and wanted the advice of this lot - they never learn. Nevertheless, this one stayed on topic til the end - again, strange portents. Are we approaching the End of Days?

Grange Hill
A varied topic this one, traversing from kids' TV shows of the 80s across ammo and internet censorship in the home before slouching around to creationism.

The week's wibblings were finished off with another 'What's everyone having for lunch' thread and a 'what's everyone listening to at work' one. The results of these questions, when put together, reveal that the Cave is inhabited mostly by lardy hippies. Like we needed research to tell us that…

There was more banter, gossip and general wittering, but that's about the gist of it for this week. Sid will be back next time, when he's got bored of mincing about on his frangipan scooter or whatever the hell he's doing.

Hermie's Quotable Quotes
To: bob the dinosaur (BOB_DINOSAUR) 29/03/01

I think we're in for a world of hurt then.

I told them aliens that they needed to get their hair done before they went galloping off to furren lands. (anything outside of Oregon is furren) They'd have stuck around longer if you'd given em pistachios.

Twern't no dream.. So that means....

Hermit
D. Martin

To: frnht451 30/03/01

Topic, topic? Who's got a topic?

Lets don't screw up the format of this place and start staying on topic! Topics are ok for people who know what they're talking about. (or at least think they do) Insert, Rambus, Linux, Mac, Intel, AMD, SEX, Aliens, Windows and heaven help us Unix....

Hermit
D. Martin

Flashman
His two ££ worth…