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INQ presents gongs of the year

The winners, the trousers, the losers, the highs, the lows
Wed Dec 08 2004, 09:59
EVERY YEAR the INQ carefully reviews the products, the events and the people who have made the news - in some cases quite literally -during the year.

We therefore present our nominations for 2004, in the spirit of faith, hope and charity. Please put on your snazziest awards gear, and be ready to applaud the winners of these prestigious gongs, available from the INQ merchandise site for $5,000 each.

We'll start with the serious awards - compiled by our team of raving roving reporters.

Products of 2004
Processor of the Year: AMD Athlon FX 55
Chipset of the Year: i925X (no, really, it is good)
Graphics card of the year: 6800GT
Hard drive of the year: Seagate Savvio
Memory of the year: Corsair Pro Series 3200XL
PDA of the year: Treo 600 (phone also)
Peripheral of the year: Logitech MX1000 laser mouse and iPod not by HP
Come back of the year Nvidia NV40
Best web site: Groklaw
Game of the year: Half Life 2
System of the year: 20" iMac

And now for some very important other awards.

Mentioned in Despatches
Sander-apos-s-trousers-win-big-gongMostly likely to be assassinated next year award: Charlie Demerjian
Company most likely to leak itself into a sunken heap: ATI for the HL2 'benchmarks'
Award for corporate security and sensitive information preservation: Intel
Pointless transition of the year: PCI Express
Absurdity of the year: X800XT PE and 6800 Ultra unavailability
CPU of the year: Pentium 4 4.0
CEO of the year: Carly 'Wing and a Prayer' Fiorina
Tough love award: Paul Otellini (4.0 and LCoS)
Sugary snack award: Centrino M&Ms
Pry it out of my cold dead hands award: USB memory sticks
Coolest tradeshow giveaway: Rambus Pen/Stylus/Laserpointer
Tech of the year: SLi or Spam
Virus of the year: Sasser
Trousers of the year: Saucy Sander Sassen

More Awards
Useless transition of the year: DDR2 - slower and more expensive, a good combo
This sucks and blows award: BTX
Most unfairly vilified tech: LGA775
Code name of the year: Conroe
Overhyped and underdelivering Products of the year: Dual cores
Feeling nervous award: Intel
Newfound smugness award: AMD
Most scintillating speech of the year: The IDF thing next to the press room that we couldn't figure out
Personality of the year: Darl 'Cowgirl' McBride
Most Passe technology: Blue LEDs
Best color to look trendy with: iPod white
Top to bottom award: Intel
Bottom to Top award: SGI
Most Colourful motherboard: DFI Lanparty
Least Colourful Motherboard: Intel i925XE press sample
Undescribable device of the year: It's like a thing, but without the LEDs
Case of the year: Guinness
Number of the year: 64

Gong song goes on
Most touching moment award: Craig Barrett on one knee
Minoxidil award: Anand Chandrasekher
Most annoying name: Sempr0n
Inq-girl-of-the-yearMost annoying acronym: EM64T aka iAMD64
Dry up and blow away please award: SCO
Kiss and make up award: Oracle and Peoplesoft
Ubiquity award: Everywhere Girl
Stop following me award: Dirk Meyer for his Computex performance
Most expensive party decoration: LCoS Disco Ball
We told you so award: Intel LCoS
Hottest booth babes: Wasabi
You still exist award: Matrox and SCO (tie)

 

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