Scottish witches "pardoned" on All Hallows Eve

WITCHES EXECUTED in Bonny Scotland in Prestonpans will receive a full pardon today - along with their "familiars", cats that were thought to be spawn of the de'il.

According to Associated Press, 81 local people in Prestonpans that got the chop have received the pardon, which really does them a fat lot of good if they've been in hell for a few hundred years.

Prestonpans, said the wire, was one of the hotbeds of witch hunts during the 17th and 16th centuries. Evidence for the executions was slightly flimsy but the last spawn of the devil was offed in 1727, which is only a little while after the act of Union, ratifying the fact that James VI of Scotland became James I of the "United Kingdom" in the Act of Union 1607.

At that time the Scottish Parliament dissolved itself for a mess of pottage. But only a little while after this time, the Jacobites were routed by Hanoverian kings whose first act was to introduce the famous computer show, CeBIT, there to torment all visitors from Scotland in perpetuity. The second was to banish Jocks forever to wander the world, replaced by sheep. Bah!

The rest is history. English law differs from Scottish law in several respects. Scotland now has its own parliament again, given that the Scottish oil and gas discovered in the early sixties is now exhausted, it makes quite a bit of sense to let us Jocks flounder on our own again with our tartans, kilts and the like µ

L'INQ
Associated Press
Highlands & Islands Enterprise Hic