Exploding laptops are part of the game

DELL HAS BEEN taken a beating lately, almost to the point of becoming an internet legend. Got a Dell? Got asbestos underwear? You get the idea. The problem is, that this is not just Dell's fault, and in fact, for the most part, I think they are not to blame, they are getting a bad rap.

Let's just start out by saying that I find the flaming Dells at least as funny as you do, unless you work for Dell. I have no particular love for Dell laptops either, they have led me into worlds of pain and frustration trying to deal with their 'service and support' program. Other than that, they are remarkably adequate machines, with nothing to recommend them other than price. Personally, I spend a bit more and buy HP.

That cheapness does not mean that they are flaming deathtraps however, it is blown out of proportion, way out. Yes, they have recalls, and yes, it appears to be they are trying to bury this in as deep a hole as they can, but Dell is hardly the only one here. I am sure there is a warehouse full of burnt out HP, IBM and Gateway parts too. Dell sells a lot of laptops, either #1 or #2 in the world, depending on who you ask. If you count the number of crotch-region thermal runaway situations, it would be quite surprising to see Dell at anything other than the top one or two.

One thing that people fail to consider is that batteries, especially lithium based ones are inherently dangerous items. They have hugely high energy density, and that means if the energy is released quickly, well, it goes boom. Why does it go boom? Read this.

What is the difference between a pound of lithium batteries and a pound of alkaline batteries? Energy density. Plastic and plastic explosive? You guessed it, energy density. If you release all the energy of the lower density items at once, you will make a little heat, the higher density ones, well, they go bang. In both cases, the higher energy version can be coaxed into releasing their energy without said bang, sometimes easily, sometimes not so easily..

Most of the bangs happen because of a few simple actions, mistreatment, manufacturing defects, or bad design. Mistreatment is obvious, put a nail through an early lithium battery, and it would blow up. Engineering has since made that a much more tricky thing to do, but it still can be done. Don't try it a home kiddies.

Bad design is also a potential problem, but fairly infrequent, but the Dell recall listed above is proof that it happens to the biggest boys on the block. It has happened to others, and will certainly happen again. It tends to be costly enough to pocketbooks and reputations so it is avoided wherever possible.

The last one is most likely what we are seeing with the rash of flaming Dells, dumb luck and manufacturing defects. When you get your nice new piece of clothing, bring it home, and put it on for the first time, it is usually really nice. You also know that every so often, you pull up the zipper for the first time, and it breaks in your hand, again on the first time? Well, that is what you call a manufacturing defect. You bring it back, and get it replaced with a good one. With any mass-produced item, there will be a small number of problem cases, small but measurable. Sh*t happens.

Now, this is unavoidable even if manufacturers try very hard to minimize it. If you can get the defect rate to 1 in 1000, great, 1 in 100,000, better. One in a million? Great! If batteries were that reliable, you would never see burnt pubes again, right? Wrong.

If Dell sells a few million notebooks a year, there will be a few flaming Dells a year even at that low rate. If the rate is 1 in 100,000, you will see dozens of burnt laptops a year. Why? It is simple, if your zipper breaks, you change outfits, if your battery breaks, well, boom. Defect + energy density = explosion.

No manufacturer is immune to this. Some are better at hiding it than others, and Dell, with their famously antagonistic service only makes the problem worse. The dealing I have had with HP support were nothing short of great. If my laptop blew up, and the manufacturer kissed my ass and apologized, I would be annoyed, but it would probably end there. If they told me it was my fault, I would probably scream about it to the press. You do the math on this one.

In the end, I think exploding laptops are an endemic problem with hugely high energy density batteries. They really are little bombs waiting to go off, and just due to the numbers, they will every so often. Dell has earned a rep for mediocrity and antagonistic customer support, so when they do go boom, you hear about it more.

I may blame Dell for making things hard on the victims, but I won't blame them for having it happen in the first place. When you stop and think about why this happens, it would be pretty tough to say Dell is at fault. µ