Phone firm haunted by phantom complaints on Halloween

A NEW COMPUTER system has caused a Canadian telephone company to complain of "phantom complaints" that's getting its customers irked.

When phones go wrong, Telus customers are waiting longer than normal to get their phones phixed, according to Canada.Com.

Sheesh - some people are waiting a whole day for the phones to be phixed. Here in downtown Harrow, our favourite phone phirm NTL has told us it might get round to fixing our line in two months.

The story in question is here, but we spotted an answer to Telus' problem in another place.

According to the Weekly World News, a phirm has hired a parrot to answer the lines when people complain.

Well, the Weekly World News may well be right - given the size of a human roof brain, and given that almost every multinational relies on scripts, it shouldn't be too hard to train a parrot to give the kind of replies NTL gives to the INQUIRER.

Here.

Pieces of eight, pieces of eight. Don't call us, we'll call you. µ